Friday, October 31, 2008
Enlightened Perspective
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned…. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned....That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned... . That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher. =0 A
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned ... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Attitude
Life is short; enjoy it!
Burton Fletcher
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Living With People
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some friends and some true enemies: succeed anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
By Mother Theresa
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Wish It, Dream It, Do It!
Wish it!
Dream it!
Do it!
These six words, when incorporated into your lifestyle, can help you to accomplish more!Have you ever known someone who was a procrastinator? I mean a SERIOUS procrastinator!
Well, I have known a few of these individuals who did not have the follow through to accomplish often great ideas.
I would prefer to associate myself with a person of average talent who works hard to accomplish their goals than a person of brilliance who cannot be depended on to do what he or she says he or she is going to do, thereby lacking dependability, much less failing to fulfill her or her potential.
Procrastinators are people who create stress in their own lives and the lives of others by their failure to manage their own lives effectively or efficiently.
If you cannot manage your own life; how can you expect you will ever be able to effectively manage the lives of others.
If a person fails to fulfill their potential; shame on them! However, if that same person undermines an organization's goals, then procrastination is psychological sabotage and like a rotten apple, must be plucked from our midst, lest the entire barrel rot as well.
Wish it!
Dream it!
Do it!
This is good advice for anyone!
Burton Fletcher
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The Old Man and the Dog
By Catherine Moore
'Watch out! You nearly broadsided that car!' My father yelled at me. 'Can't you do anything right?'
Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle. 'I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving.'
My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature.
He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess. The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man. Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack.
An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone. My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm.
We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind.
But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it. The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, 'I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.' I listened as she read.
The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog. I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens.
Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons: too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray.
His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly. I pointed to the dog. 'Can you tell me about him?' The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement.'He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.' He gestured helplessly. As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. 'You mean you're going to kill him?''Ma'am,' he said gently, 'that's our policy.
We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.' I looked at the pointer again The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. 'I'll take him,' I said.I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.
'Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!' I said excitedly.Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. 'If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it' Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house. Anger rose inside me It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.'You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!'
Dad ignored me. 'Did you hear me, Dad?' I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him.
Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal. It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout.
They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet. Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends.
Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.
Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.
The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. 'Be not forgetful to entertain strangers.'
'I've often thanked God for sending that angel,' he said. For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article...
Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter, his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.
Life is too short for drama and petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Five Lessons About The Way We Treat People
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely, " said the professor.
"In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his addre ss and thanked him.
Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.
A special note was attached.
It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely,
Mrs Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.
"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins.
"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away
The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.
There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.
The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
**From the Internet.... Source Anonymous.
Friday, July 04, 2008
That's Not Me...
Have you ever known someone who thought the world evolved around them and their needs, idiocyncracies and view of the world. All of us are susceptible to this to some degree or another; however, some folks have excuses for all of their shortcomings in life, except for truthful excuses. "To thine own self be true," or in the vernacular of the street, "Do not bullshit thyself!"
Get your act together if you want to be seen as together. Actions speak louder than words and words speak volumes about the attitudes and beliefs of others, whether expressed or not. Like body language, there is often an incongruity between actions and words that must be heeded if we want to be in tune with the REAL person with whom we are dealing.
"That's not me...." is another way of expressing the view that you are not worth the effort for me to care about what you have to say. Your life is all about your needs, but also about the needs of your partner, and taking the time to celebrate life together!
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
http://www.georgialoanclosers.com/
http://www.georgiasigningagents.com/
Great Website
Open the www site below and try this out on your computer. The screen will fill with the logos of most every store or info site that you will probably ever use. When you click on a logo, it takes you directly to the store or site you have selected. It's a great time saver and you don't have to hunt and type addresses on the Internet.
http://www.allmyfaves.com
Please Come See Me....
"I'm sorry, but I need this time for me," I responded.
"I need this time to tune out the world, recharge my batteries, and rejuvenate."
"Yes, but isn't life to be 'celebrated,'" she said.
Yes, and this is how I celebrate my life on days when I need to rejuvenate."
Everyone has their needs and I must look out for my needs FIRST. I can only look after your needs so much before I start sacrificing my own needs. Sorry!
I do not like excessively NEEDY people who manipulate others by crying, begging, manipulation through guilt, sex or a plethora of other means, legal or illegal.
If you love someone, love yourself FIRST. If you do not love yourself; how can you expect others to love you.
Take care of your own needs FIRST.
Celebrate your own life FIRST.
Always remember the first rule in lifesaving is to save your own life!
Along the way, help others, but take care of yourself and respond to your own needs first.
After all, it is the right thing to do!
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
http://www.georgialoanclosers.com/
http://www.georgiasigningagents.com/
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Life Should Be Celebrated....
These are the words I read on a coffee cup and words that should be inspirational to all. Do you "live" your life; or, do you "celebrate" your life?
As I have become older--and wiser--I appreciate the importance of celebrating life. In my youth, I gave little thought to my own mortality or to celebrating my life. Now, as a senior citizen, I accept my mortality and I celebrate my past, present and my future. I hope you are doing the same.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
http://www.georgialoanclosers.com/
http://www.georgiasigningagents.com/
Monday, June 16, 2008
St. Francis of Assisi

For those in despair and in need of a psychological retreat, I recommend reading the referenced prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. His life story is remarkable and one that I am confident you will enjoy. Please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Francis_of_Assisi
Burton Fletcher
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The Serenity Prayer
The Serenity Prayer has touched a great many lives in a positive manner. I know that during times of distress I have leaned on the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer. I hope it will comfort you too.For more information on The Serenity Prayer, please see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_prayer#cite_note-2
Burton Fletcher
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What is Success? by Bessie A. Stanley
The next time someone asks about the meaning of success, a question right up there with "what is the meaning of life," you will have the makings for a good answer at your fingertips.
Here's a more complete version of this famous poem by Bessie A. Stanley. This was the prize-winning definition of success which won a contest sponsored by Brown book Magazine, Boston, circa 1904.
"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of small children;
who has filled his niche, and accomplished his task;
who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty, or failed to express it;
who has always looked for the best in others, and given them the best he had;
whose life was an inspiration;
whose memory a benediction."
Bessie Anderson Stanley
Burton Fletcher
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A Thankful Heart And A Happy Home....

"A thankful heart and a happy home go hand in hand."
Too often, I feel that we lose sight of all that we have to be thankful for, in this country, in this state, in this county, in this city, in this neighborhood, on this street, and in this home. You can take the large view or the narrow view but how you look at life will determine your happiness.
As a retired educator, I observed during my days as an active college and university professor, that often the laziest educators were often the happiest, going about their lives like cows chewing their cud while walking single file down a cow path. Conversely, those who truly cared about the academic environment and the institution, and who worked hard to improve it, were often the least happy.
Wherever you are in life, be thankful for the positives and focus on those positives. The same goes for your home. If your heart is thankful, your home will be happier too.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
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Count Your Blessings & The 80-20 Rule In Relationships

Clear communication is the key and if your significant other is not listening, both you and they must make choices that may be hard or easy depending on the negative impact your partner's actions may be having on you, or your actions may be having on your partner.
Dealing with conflict in relationships is not easy. The more we have invested in the relationship, the more interpersonal warfare hurts and should be avoided.
Even when we find our "ideal mate" we should know that just as we will be growing, our partner will be growing too. The person you married 20 years ago is not the same person today, and neither are you.
Love is a beautiful thing and it should be cherished. Crazy making should be avoided for your peace of mind and for the sake of the love you have for your partner.
Compromise is essential in any relationship. Count your blessings when you are in a relationship. The singles scene is not a pleasant place to be and should be avoided if both partners are willing to work toward shared goals.
Give and take and you'll be more likely to be successful in your relationship. I encourage everyone to focus on the positives and count your blessings; after all, it is the right thing to do for a happier life.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
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Don't Waste It....

Life is short--too short--and we never know when our last day will present itself. Just ask any fan of "Meet the Press" who recently lost long-time host Tim Russert at age 58.
Mr. Russert was much too young to have died of a heart attack. His death should be a reminder to all of us that we should not waste a day with negative actions or negative thoughts.
Express positive feelings. Appreciate nature. Express gratitude. Avoid and remedy quarrels. Keep your promises. Share your feelings of love over and over so your loved ones will know you appreciate them.
This is not a full list of the things to do and not do; however, these are good reminders to everyone travelling on this journey we call life.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
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Saturday, June 14, 2008
James Dean's Advice: Dream and Live.
So, how should we live our lives? James Dean's quote is one thought on the subject. Dreaming and living are important aspects to how we live our lives and I believe that no life can truly be fulfilled unless dreams are part of that life.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
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An actor must interpret life, and in order to do so must be willing to accept all the experiences life has to offer. In fact, he must seek out more of life than life puts at his feet. James Dean
Being a good actor isn't easy. Being a man is even harder. I want to be both before I'm done. James Dean
Being an actor is the loneliest thing in the world. You are all alone with your concentration and imagination, and that's all you have. James Dean
But you can't show some far off idyllic conception of behavior if you want the kids to come and see the picture. You've got to show what it's really like, and try to reach them on their own grounds. James Dean
Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow. James Dean
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. James Dean
I also became close to nature, and am now able to appreciate the beauty with which this world is endowed. James Dean
I think the one thing this picture shows that's new is the psychological disproportion of the kids' demands on the parents. Parents are often at fault, but the kids have some work to do, too. James Dean
I want to be a Texan 24 hours a day. James Dean
If a man can bridge the gap between life and death, if he can live on after he's dead, then maybe he was a great man. James Dean
It was an accident, although I've been involved in some kind of theatrical function or other since I was a child - in school, music, athletics. James Dean
Only the gentle are ever really strong. James Dean
Studying cows, pigs and chickens can help an actor develop his character. There are a lot of things I learned from animals. One was that they couldn't hiss or boo me. James Dean
The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results. James Dean
The only greatness for man is immortality. James DeanThere is no way to be truly great in this world. We are all impaled on the crook of conditioning. James Dean
To grasp the full significance of life is the actor's duty; to interpret it his problem; and to express it his dedication. James Dean
To me, acting is the most logical way for people's neuroses to manifest themselves, in this great need we all have to express ourselves. James Dean
To my way of thinking, an actor's course is set even before he's out of the cradle. James Dean
Trust and belief are two prime considerations. You must not allow yourself to be opinionated. James Dean
When an actor plays a scene exactly the way a director orders, it isn't acting. It's following instructions. Anyone with the physical qualifications can do that. James Dean
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Eleanor Roosevelt on Dreams

The accurate quote is "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Actually, whether you believe your dreams are beautiful, or freightening, what you believe will determine your vision and your vision will become your reality.
Eleanor Roosevelt was a great woman and humanitarian who inspired millions with her courage and commitment to serve others. I hope you will believe strongly in the beauty of your dreams.
If you really believe, your dreams are more likely to become reality. When you vividly foresee your dreams and you then focus your belief system and actions intensely, like a laserbeam, they are more likely to be realized.
I have identified several of Mrs. Roosevelt's quotes below that I found on the web. I hope you enjoy them.
Burton Fletcher
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A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I could not at any age be content to take my place in a corner by the fireside and simply look on.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.
Eleanor Roosevelt
If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault.
Eleanor Roosevelt
It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.
Eleanor Roosevelt
One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else.
Eleanor Roosevelt
The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.
Eleanor Roosevelt
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937
People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.
Eleanor Roosevelt, My Day
Count Your Blessings

I was talking with a friend today and was informed that a relative "committed suicide." I have had numerous relatives commit suicide and I understand depression and the dangers it entails; however, I believe it is a very selfish act to commit suicide.
It is not for me to judge the individual who ends their own life; however, I believe there is unrecognized good in everyone's life and everyone should count their blessings.
It is a simple truth that life could be worse for just about everyone. No matter what your station in life, count your blessings and know that there are others worse off than yourself. With this knowledge, count your blessings and make the most of the challenges in your life. If not for yourself, for your family and friends. After all, it is the right thing to do.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
http://www.georgialoanclosers.com/
http://www.georgiasigningagents.com/
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Rules For Communication

Today, I received an outrageous email from an acquaintance espousing a political view much different than my own. I called my acquaintance and gently informed him that my views were the polar opposite of his own.
I saw no need to be disagreeable or impolite and I did not attempt to change his viewpoint. I did inform him that my views were different than his and I then dropped the subject.
Sex, religion and politics are three subjects among many where great caution should be exercised. Relationships can be needlessly fractured by carelessly revealing views that are personal to the individual.
Use caution when discussing controversial topics and you will enjoy a happier life.
Scatter Seeds of Kindness and Find Peace

Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
http://www.georgialoanclosers.com/
http://www.georgiasigningagents.com/
Whoo Hoo!!! You Rock.
I received this message today and it reminds me of the value of humor in communication. Whenever possible, a message delivered with humor stands out from all others.
When communicating, choose your words with your reader in mind, and both you and your reader will be glad you did.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
http://www.georgialoanclosers.com/
http://www.georgiasigningagents.com/
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The Miracle of Friendship

Friendship is a gift and it does bring you happiness. Be greatful for your friends and cherish those relationships.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
http://www.georgialoanclosers.com/
http://www.georgiasigningagents.com/
Clock of Life

And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour
Now is the only time you own
Live, love, toil with a will
place no faith in tomorrow
The hands may then be still."
So, what do these words say to you? To me, they suggest we should live in the moment, enjoying that moment and making the most of the opportunity and good fortune to be alive. If you visit the cemetery, you will find a great many who have died at an age younger than you are now. They too lived. They died as you will too.
How we live is important and I would like to think that I have made the world a better place. How about you? Make the most of yourself and the time you own. Live, laugh and love.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.CallOurLawyers.com
www.GeorgiaLoanClosers.com
www.GeorgiaSigningAgents.com
Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much

"Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much" are inspirational words that inspire me in my day-to-day living. How about you?
Do you have a Gregorian chant to provide yourself with positive self talk? If not, I suggest you reflect on your self talk and think about how you can pull yourself up when the world seems to be dragging you down.
"If it is to be, it is up to me," were words I used to push myself through law school years ago. I would repeat those words and reflect on the obvious wisdom that we are in control of our own destiny.
I encourage you to "Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much" and to realize that life is all too short and you might as well make the most of it as there are no rehearsals. Celebrate your life!
Burton Fletcher
Imagination Is Everything
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein
Throughout my professional career, I have observed a great many people who excelled in the area of imagination. I believe myself to be imaginative and this skill has aided me throughout my career.
Those with imagination have more control over their lives, their future and their destiny.
Without imagination, you cannot see over the horizon, much less around the corner.
As Albert Einstein said, your “coming attractions” will be based upon your “imagination”, and the quality of your life will be more remarkable if you will develop and exercise your imagination. Today, we commonly call this skill “thinking outside the box.”
Burton Fletcher
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
http://www.georgiasigningagents.com/
http://www.georgialoanclosers.com/
http://www.valdostamemorials.com/
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.floridasigma.com/
Thursday, May 08, 2008
How To Have A Successful Marriage
Burton Fletcher
That Man Is A Success
A person who lives well, laughs often, who loves and who loves others, who has an appreciation of earth's beauty, and who is a dreamer and a pursuer of excellence. The ability to motivate others and who gives 100% of himself or herself. This person is a success!
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Sigma Alpha Epsilon Honors Burton Fletcher With Order of The Lion Award

Burton Fletcher, a member of the Pensacola Area Alumni Association, http://www.pensacolasae.com/ supporting the Florida Sigma Chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity, bestowed Valdosta attorney Burton Fletcher, the owner of Georgia Loan Closers.com, the distinguished “Order of The Lion” designation “for recognition of continued leadership, dedication and loyal service to the Fraternity.”
Fletcher is a long-time supporter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity. He was initiated into the fraternity at the University of West Florida in 1974, graduated with a B.S. degree in Marketing in 1975, an MBA in 1976, and later received his Juris Doctorate with Honors from Western State University College of Law in 1980.
Fletcher has served in numerous leadership positions, including president of the fraternity and the board of directors of the House Corporation. The Order of the Lion Award is a prestigious honor for exceptional service to the fraternity.
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Saturday, April 12, 2008
Family History Questionnaire
We have a wonderful Family History Questionnaire on www.ValdostaMemorials.com at http://www.valdostamemorials.com/family_history_questionnaire.htm.
Burton Fletcher
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Authorized Dealer of Music of the Spheres Windchimes
Let us help you save money with your purchase.
Burton Fletcher
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Friends Are Like Balloons
A sharp tongue can cut my own throat.
If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn't oversleep.
Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends. B1.
The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts.
The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge.
One thing I can give and still keep...is my word.I lie the loudest when I lie to myself.
If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished.
One thing I can't recycle is wasted time.Ideas won't work unless 'I ' do.
My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.
The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
It is never too late to become what I might have been.
Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back.
Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away.
Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong.
Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late.
I don't want to let that happen so I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose you.
Send this to all your friends including me and see how many you get back. Even send it to your balloons that you think have flown away forever.
Wonderful throughts from a friend to share with all of my friends who are both known and unknown.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.ValdostaMemorials.com
www.CallOurLawyers.com
www.GeorgiaLoanClosers.com
www.GeorgiaSigningAgents.com
www.AtlantaLoanClosers.com
Thursday, February 07, 2008
The World's Deadliest Shotgun
I have heard that bigger is better, but this gives new meaning to that concept.
http://uk..youtube.com/watch?v=p4ebtj1jR7c&NR=1
Do What You Think Is Right!
A father, son, and donkey are walking to town and pass a guy who says, “Why would both of you walk when you have a donkey, one of you needs to ride the donkey or else that’s dumb!” The father looks at his son and says “He’s right; you need to get on the donkey.”
They pass another gentleman a mile later who says “How selfish of the boy to ride while his poor old dad walks, young man you need to let your Dad ride the donkey out of respect for your elders.” The son looks at his father and says “He’s right, Dad you need to get on the donkey, I’ll walk,” and then dad gets on the donkey.
A mile later they pass another gentleman who says “what kind of father is this, to allow his poor son to walk while he rides in comfort.”
The moral of the story, do what you think is right anyway; as others will always have differing opinions and suggestions.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Things You Would Love to Say - But Don't Dare
"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?' --Larry Miller
"A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad." --Christopher Case
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh." --Conan O'Brien
"I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman." --Bruce Baum
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." --Sue Murphy
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Things You Would Love to Say - But Don't
Dare
You'd Love To Say It, But Don't Dare Part II
What am I?... Flypaper for freaks!
And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
Do I look like a people person?
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER - my work here is done.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Colonoscopies Are No Joke!
A physician claimed that the following were actual commentsmade by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing theircolonoscopies :
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."
13. "Should I smile for my Kodak Moment?"
And the best one of all...
14. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Sunday, May 13, 2007
What Do You Say To Those Who Are Grieving?
As the days and weeks pass, and as you return to life’s routine, may you continue to feel comforted by the love and support of family and friends.
I was so sorry to hear of your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help at this time.
I was so sorry to hear of your loss. The thoughts of many are with you at this time of sorrow.
May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.
May the love of friends and family carry you through your grief.
May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well-lived.
My heart goes out to you at this time and in the days ahead.
My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.
No bond is as great as that between a parent and child. Our deepest condolences are with you as you grieve.
Our hearts go out to you at this time and in the days ahead.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.
Please accept our deepest sympathies.
Take comfort in knowing that now you have a special guardian angel to watch over you.
The loss of someone so close is difficult to bear. We share your grief.
We were so sorry to hear of your loss. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help at this time.
We were so sorry to hear of your loss. The thoughts of many are with you at this time of sorrow.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Take a peak at http://www.ruthann1.com for many other thoughtful expressions that may help you say or write words that are appropriate for the occasion.
Burton Fletcher
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Monday, May 07, 2007
After-Death Instructions
After-Death Instructions For (Your Name)
I, (Your Name), being of sound mind, do hereby specify and declare my wishes regarding the end of my life.
Coordinators: (Names) will be in charge of my burial arrangements. The two will be authorized to make decisions in accord with these instructions.
Donor: Parts of my body may be harvested as may be needed to aid the lives of others. This bequest includes my eyes, skin, bone and organs.
Cremation: After donor harvesting, I desire that my body be cremated.
Interment: I desire that my cremains be interred in a memorial bench in the _____________ Family Plots at the __________________ Church Cemetery in ____________, ________.
I desire that my ashes be placed in a blue urn in my possession. The urn of my companion, ______________ is pink. Both urns will be interred together. It is my desire that the wooden urn for my beloved pet, ___________, be interred with us. When my pets, ___________and __________ die, I desire that they be cremated and that their cremains be interred with our cremains. At that time, the cremation bench should be permanently sealed for security.
Viewing: I oppose any type of public viewing of my body. My body should be available for private viewing by my immediate family, without makeup and in a natural state, for two hours at the place of my death. Thereafter, I request that my body not be available for viewing.
Embalming: I oppose any embalming of my remains.
Funeral &
Memorial
Service: I oppose and desire that there be no public funeral or memorial service. Should the family desire an interment ceremony at the graveside, then it is my desire that _________ be in charge of the service.
Obituary: I desire that the attached obituary and photograph be published in the following newspapers:
Names, addresses, phone and email for newspapers.
Online Obituary: I desire that I have a permanent online obituary.
I declare that these are my requests on the date indicated. All previous instructions are null and void.
___________________________________
Date, Your Name and Signature
I declare that the above person personally appeared before me this date, executed this document, and asked that his wishes be performed in accord with these instructions.
___________________________________
Date, Printed Name and Signature of Witnesses
___________________________________
Date, Printed Name, Signature and Notarial Seal
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
To Practice Death Is To Practice Freedom
"Men come and they go and they trot and they dance, and never a word about death. All well and good. Yet when death does come - to them, their wives, their children, their friends - catching them unawares and unprepared, then what storms of passion overwhelm them, what cries, what fury, what despair!
To begin depriving death of its greatest advantage over us, let us adopt a way clean contrary to that common one; let us deprive death of its strangeness, let us frequent it, let us get used to it; let us have nothing more often in mind than death... We do not know where death awaits us: so let us wait for it everywhere.
To practice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.
- Montaigne"
Monday, April 30, 2007
This Pastor Had Guts
This Pastor Had Guts
Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in Kansas at the opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some people.
Please read this message.
When minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:
"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know your word says,"Woe to those who call evil good" but that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of speech and expression.
We have ridiculed the time honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!"
The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively.
The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea.
Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio Program, "TheRest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired.
With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "one nation under God."
If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends."
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."
Think about this: If you forward this prayer to everyone on your email list, in less than 30 days it would be heard by the world.
How many people in your address book will not receive this prayer.....do you have the guts to pass it on? I just did.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Mental Feng Shui
"This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. There's some mighty fine advice in these words.
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. "
Sunday, April 22, 2007
An Update Regarding The Kenneth Kendrick Memorial
Ms. Porter was kind to share thoughts regarding my article and to highlight some of the many accomplishments of Kenneth Kendrick, a life well lived.
"Hello... My pastor mentioned something today in church that made me think of Kenneth Kendrick. After coming home I decided to look on the internet and see just what I could find out about Kenneth.
I ran across your article about the Kenneth Kendrick Memorial. You mentioned that there must be a story and you wish his monument had said more about his story, and you had wondered why he had died at the age of 43.
I have known Kenneth all my life. We were in kindergarden together. We came from a small town in Georgia, Metter. Kenneth was always different, but very artistic and as intelligent as anyone you have ever met. Anything, and I do mean anything, he did, he did it exceptionally well. He was very talented.
At college he studied art, excelling in all his studies. I believe one of his first careers was in designing logos. He won awards all over the world. He was one of the logoists used to design the new signage for Underground Atlanta when it underwent a huge remodeling . He did art work for Coke cans highlighting the summer Olympics in Montreal (I believe it was Montreal), did posters for Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" drug campaign and many other accomplishments.
The last career he had was as art director of the Sunday magazine of the New York Times. Kenneth knew he was dying, he had AIDS, and he designed his monument that is there in the cemetary in Eldridge, Alabama. I have visited that grave more than once. His companion, Owen, is buried next to him now. He died a year or so later.
I hope I have not bored you but I just felt I should share some of his story. Kenneth was a unique person. Our class will be having our 40th class reunion May 12 and we will miss him.
Becky Porter
Lyons, Georgia"
Ms. Porter, you have honored me with your words humanizing the life of Kenneth Kendrick. I am happy to share your throughts regarding a remarkable life with my readers.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Tel: 229.245.8858
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Sunday, January 21, 2007
The Future For Memorialization
Roberts' column addresses several topics including the increasing role of cremation and the challenges and opportunities for the death-care industry.
Roberts wrote of his recent trip to Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong, China and how he was highly impressed with the high quality products he observed in a country where "cremation is 98% of the market" and cremation rates in the U.S. are increasing annually.
Roberts wrote: "Their Chinese staff have traveled all over the world searching for new concepts to integrate into their properties to "perfect" their brand.Two of the cemeteries we toured, TianShou, Beijing (begun in 1997), and Fu Shou Yuan, Shanghai (begun in 1994), were nothing short of remarkable. The scenic beauty of gardens, fountains, monuments and features, set against a backdrop of mountains and rivers, truly illustrates that there is a future for cremation service and burial."
Gardens, fountains, monuments and scenery are harmonized to create a beautiful environment.
"A funeral house we visited serves 25,000 families per year. It provides a traditional funeral service before the family moves to the cemetery for a committal ceremony and then cremation at a third location. We were very impressed with the personalization demonstrated in their monuments."
Traditional funeral service, committal ceremony and cremation can be tied together in a manner that offers personalization that honors a life.
"Some sections require that each monument be individually designed to reflect the life and accomplishments of the individual. The cemeteries we visited have several design teams and artists available to meet with families for customization. In cities where the average per capita income is less than $8,000, many families choose to expend significant sums on their burial choices. This was not because they were persuaded to do so, but rather because the option was available and they found value and meaning in their selections."
Personalization through design teams should offer significant perceived value to the clients whom we serve.
"In the land of cremation, what we encountered was not direct disposal without meaningful ceremony, but examples of memorialization, love, humanity, cultural recognition, life education and environmental considerations. Jìngzu, ancestor veneration-the honoring of the deeds, sacrifices and memories of the deceased-has a long tradition in China (as well as in some other countries around the world). As our culture moves toward increased cremation, these are concepts we must strive to maintain in what we provide."
Roberts astutely recognizes that the public, and not the death-care industry, will decide the future for the industry. The industry is reinventing itself "while embracing universally accepted core values of remembrance, celebration of life and memorialization.
Source: Tom Roberts, CCE, ICCFA president for 2006-2007, is president of Allegheny Cemetery in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. www.alleghenycemetery.com. See http://icfa.org/roberts1.07.htm for Mr. Roberts' article.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Listen To Your Friends And Live Within Your Means!

Helen and I had a recent conversation that I thought I might share with some of my readers.
When Helen consulted me, my advice was to put her finances in order, she could either increase her stream of revenues or reduce her expenses.
Unfortunately, as we age, there are fewer career paths open to us as potential employers refuse to hire us as they are unwilling to carry the financial burden of medical insurance that would not exist with the hiring of a young worker.
Age and other forms of illegal discrimination are pervasive throughout our society. What can I say but, "Life is not fair!"
"Starting today, I plan to get the ball rolling towards selling this house and obtaining another in California, for a lot less money and upkeep. Instead of spending my life savings on this house and an expensive lifestyle, I need to be conservative and save for the future."
"Thanks again for that reality check. I needed that advice to motivate me to take the necessary path that I need to follow to have a more prosperous future."
"I value your friendship. Thanks for being there for me."
Thank you, Helen! I value your friendship because you have been there for me too!
Listen to your friends and live within your means!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Who Will Write Your Legacy Obituary?
If you have lived a noteworthy life, you may be fortunate enough that television, magazines, radio and newspapers will publish the news of your passing with commentary and articles mourning your passing. For most of us, our passing will be only be noted in the obituary we write, provide to the funeral home, and we pay for inclusion in the obituary section of our local newspaper.
If you have lived a meaningful life, one that you are proud of, and one that should inspire your relatives and descendants, perhaps you should give serious consideration to writing your own obituary. Without a permanent record, details of your life will be lost to future generations.
When I was a boy, my older cousin, Thomas Lee "Tommy" Harper lived with our family for two years. After he moved away, we saw each other only occasionally.
Last year, I visited Jacksonville, Florida for the purpose of photographing cemetery monuments and with the goal of visiting Tommy's grave and the graves of other relatives. With advance research and planning, I was able to locate Tommy's grave.
A clue to Tommy's life I thought! Unfortunately, other than the single clue, "U.S. Army" there is nothing else about Tommy's service in the military of our great country. How long did he serve? What training did he receive? Where was he stationed? Did he serve in Vietnam? What was his rank when he was discharged? Did he earn any medals? I wish a lot more clues had been left for the genealogist in the family.
How many details regarding your life will you leave for your ancestors? Will yours be a life with no more details than those left on your tombstone, or will you have a meaningful legacy obituary that summarizes the meaningful highlights of your life?
Write your legacy obituary and give detailed written instructions to your family and to the funeral home regarding your wishes. If you love your family, you should not add to the stressful burden your loss will bring, so be considerate and demonstrate your love for others and take action now. After all, it is the right thing to do.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Genealogy--It's Not Just A Hobby, It's An Adventure!
Think about those words for a moment.
"Genealogy--it's not just a hobby, it's an adventure!"
Yes, genealogy is an adventure! From personal experience, I can tell you that genealogy is very much an exciting pilgrimage to discover our heritage. I can credit, or blame, genealogy for serving as the stimulus to my entry into the monument industry as a memorialist. After traipsing through numerous cemeteries, I formed the opinion that I could improve memorialization, and I have for many families.
Sure, I enjoy setting a goal for myself to locate, visit and photograph the graves of my ancestors. The quest is an enjoyable experience to me. The opportunity to visit locations I would never visit, but for the challenge and adventure of the hunt, adds enjoyment to my life. Yes, genealogy is a rewarding experience.
One of the unfortunate aspects of monument building is the lack of effective story being perpetuated by the death-care industry.
Symbols, alone, will never tell a complete story and are often misinterpreted by those not versed in the study of symbols. The meaning of symbols changes or is forgotten over time. When well written, words are much more likely to communicate effectively generations from now.
Short obituaries, written by the grieving family, and often purposely short to save money in newspaper advertising fees, deny future generations important details, and clues, on the life of an individual. If you have ever had the privilege to read old obituaries, you can appreciate the deficiencies in modern obituaries that are often sanitized to hide the details of an individual's life story.
Likewise, most monuments have few details on the life of the deceased individual. Our Family History Plaques (SM) are a terrific and very economical resource for future generations and they present a treasure trove of information into perpetuity. See, http://www.valdostamemorials.com/LifeHistoryPlaques.asp.
Everyone has a story, but too many of those stories die with the individual and are a heritage lost. Instead of a gold mine, too many relatives discovery only a barren shaft in their search of their family tree.
Preserve your own family history and leave a legacy for the living and those unborn ancestors who will follow us decades and centuries from now. After all, it is the right thing to do!
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Sunday, January 07, 2007
The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People

Said differently, I always think it is important and useful for everyone to take a look at their life to understand who they are and to compare who they are to who they might prefer to be.
Two thoughts I frequently expressed to my students during a long teaching career follow:
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result.
If you always do, what you have always done, then you will always get, what you have always gotten.
The thoughts express ideas on complacency, change, and the effects between ideas, actions and outcomes. Each is interconnected and is interdependent on the other.
I know of no better book than one I used to teach from back in 2000 when I taught several courses for a private university in Indiana titled, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People," and written by famed author, and public speaker, Stephen R. Covey.
An outline for this book, and a teaser follows. I invite my readers to purchase and take a long look at the different personality centers identified in the back of Mr. Covey's highly popular book on leadership.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
(Stephen Covey)
1. Be Proactive
"Taking initiative does not mean being pushy, obnoxious, or aggressive. It does mean recognizing our responsibility to make things happen."
2. Begin With the End in Mind
"(This habit)...is based on imagination-- the ability to envision, to see the potential, to create with our minds what we cannot at present see with our eyes..."
3. Put First Things First
"Create a clear, mutual understanding of what needs to be accomplished, focusing on what, not how; results not methods. Spend time. Be patient. Visualize the desired result."
4. Think Win-Win
"Win-Win is a frame of mind that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying."
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
"'Seek First to Understand' involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people's lives."
6. Synergize
"Synergy works; it's a correct principle. It is the crowning achievement of all the previous habits. It is effectiveness in an interdependent reality-- it is teamwork, team building, the
development of unity and creativity with other human beings."
7. Sharpening the Saw
"This is the habit of renewal...It circles and embodies all the other habits. It is the habit of continuous improvement...that lifts you to new levels of understanding and living each of the habits."
The following pages are from http://www.franklincovey.com/foryou/articles/seven.html
Stephen R. Covey
November 1991
I see seven unique human endowments or capabilities associated with The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
One way to revisit The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is to identify the unique human capability or endowment associated with each habit.
Those associated with Habits 1,2 and 3 are primary human endowments. And if those endowments are well exercised, secondary endowments are bequeathed to the person through the exercise of Habits 4, 5 and 6. And the endowment associated with Habit 7 renew the process of growth and development.
Primary Endowments
The primary human endowments are 1) self-awareness or self-knowledge; 2) imagination and conscience; and 3) volition or will power. And the secondary endowments are 4) an abundance mentality; 5) courage and consideration; and 6) creativity. The seventh endowment is self-renewal. These are all unique human endowments; animals don't possess any of them. But, they are all on a continuum of low to high levels.
Associated with Habit 1:
Be Proactive is the endowment of self-knowledge or self-awareness an ability to choose your response (response-ability). At the low end of the continuum are the ineffective people who transfer responsibility by blaming themselves or others or their environment anything or anybody "out there" so that they are not responsible for results. If I blame you, in effect I have empowered you. I have given my power to your weakness. Then I can create evidence that supports my perception that you are the problem.
At the upper end of the continuum toward increasing effectiveness is self-awareness: "I know my tendencies; I know the scripts or programs that are in me; but I am not those scripts. I can rewrite my scripts." You are aware that you are the creative force of your life.You are not the victim of conditions or conditioning. You can choose your response to any situation, to any person. Between what happens to you and your response is a degree of freedom. And the more you exercise that freedom, the larger it will become.
As you work in your circle of influence and exercise that freedom, gradually you will stop being a "hot reactor" (meaning there's little separation between stimulus and response) and start being a cool, responsible chooser no matter what your genetic make-up may be, no matter how you were raised, no matter what your childhood experiences were, or what the environment is. In your freedom to choose your response lies the power to achieve growth and happiness.
Imagine what might happen if you could get every person inside a company to willingly act on the belief: "Quality begins with me. And I need to make my own decisions based on carefully selected principles and values." Proactivity cultivates this freedom. It subordinates your feelings to your values. You accept your feelings, "I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm upset. I accept those feelings; I don't deny or repress them. Now I know what needs to be done. I am responsible." That's the principle: "I am response-able."
So on the continuum, you go from being a victim to self -determining creative power through self-awareness of the power to choose your respons to any condition or conditioning.
Associated with Habit 2:
Begin With the End In Mind is the endowment of imagination and conscience. If you are the programmer, write the program. Decide what you're going to do with the time, talent, and tools you have to work with: "Within my small circle of influence, I'm going to decide."
At the low end of the continuum is the sense of futility about goals, purposes, and improvement efforts. After all, if you are totally a victim, if you are a product of what has happened to you, then what can you realistically do about anything? So you wander through life hoping things will turn out well, that the environment may be positive, so you can have your daily bread and maybe some positive fruits.
At the other end is a sense of hope and purpose: "I have created the future in my mind. I can see it, and I can imagine what it will be like." Animals can't do that. They may instinctively gather nuts for the winter, but they can't create a nut-making machine, nor do they ask the question, "Why do I do nuts? Why don't I get someone else to gather nuts for me?" Only humans examine such questions.
Only people have the capability to imagine a new course of action and pursue it conscientiously.
Why conscience? Because to be highly effective, your conscience must monitor all that you imagine, envision, and engineer. Those who attempt to exercise creativity without conscience inevitably create the unconscionable.
Or, at the very least, they exchange their creative talents for "canned goods," using their creativity their applied imagination and visual affirmations to win material things or social rewards. And then they become hopelessly imbalanced. They may speak the lines of the life balance script, but in reality their constitutions are written on the fleshy tablets of their spleen.
It is reaffirming to me to see that winners of the Academy Awards, for the most part, exhibit creativity with conscience. For example, Kevin Costner's Dances with Wolves made a beautiful statement about native Americans. The Academy knows that the film industry has enormous influence, and with that creative power must come conscientious social responsibility.
Practice using these two unique human capacities: First, see yourself going to the office this afternoon, or home tonight, and finding it in a terrible situation. The house is a total disaster. No one has done his or her job; all the commitments made have been unfulfilled. And you're tired and beat up.
Now, imagine, yourself responding to that reality in a mature, wise, self-controlled manner. See the effect that has on someone else.
You didn't confess their sins. You started to pitch in. You were cheerful, helpful, pleasant. And your behavior will prick the conscience of others and allow the consequences agreed upon to happen.
You just used two unique human capacities: imagination and conscience. You didn't rely on memory; if you had relied on memory or history, you might have lost your cool, made judgments of other people and exacerbated conditions.
Memory is built into your past responses to the same or similar stimuli. Memory ties you to your past. Imagination points you to your future. Your potential is unlimited, but to potentiate is to actualize your capabilities no matter what the conditions are.
In the book Man's Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany in World War II, tells how he exercised the power to choose his response to his terrible conditions.
One day, he was subjected to experiments on his body. And he discovered, "I have the power to choose." And he looked for meaning. He believed that if you have a meaning (purpose or cause), if you have a why, you can live with any what. The development of his professional life came out of that one insight. He was raised in the Freudian tradition of psychic determinism.
He learned it was a lie. It wasn't based on science. It came from the study of sick people neurotics and psychotics not from the study of healthy, creative, effective people. He didn't go to his memory; he went to his imagination and conscience. You, too, can progress along the continuum from futility and old habits to faith, hope, and inner security through the exercise of conscience and imagination.
Associated with Habit 3:
Put First Things First is the endowment of willpower. At the low end of the continuum is the ineffective, flaky life of floating and coasting, avoiding responsibility and taking the easy way out, exercising little initiative or willpower. And at the top end is a highly disciplined life that focuses heavily on the highly important but not necessarily urgent activities of life. It's a life of leverage and influence.
You go from victim to creative resource, from futility to hope and anchorage, and from flaky to disciplined Habits 1, 2 and 3. One draws on self-awareness or self-knowledge; two draws on conscience and imagination; and three draws on willpower.
These are unique human endowments that animals don't possess. On the continuum, you go from being driven by crises and having can't and won't power to being focused on the important but not necessarily urgent matters of your life and having the will power to realize them. From Primary to Secondary
Endowments
The exercise of primary human endowments empowers you to use the secondary endowments more effectively.
Associated with Habit 4:
Think Win-Win is the endowment of an abundance mentality. Why? Because your security comes from principles. Everything is seen through principles. When your wife makes a mistake, you're not accusatory. Why? Your security does not come from your wife living up to your expectations. If your son, your husband, your friend, or your boss makes a mistake, you don't become accusatory, you look with compassion. Why? Your security does not come from them. It comes from within yourself. You're principle-centered.
As people become increasingly principle-centered, they love to share recognition and power. Why? It's not a limited pie. It's an ever-enlarging pie. The basic paradigm and assumption about limited resources is flawed. The great capabilities of people are hardly even tapped. The abundance mentality produces more profit, power, and recognition for everybody.
On the continuum, you go from a scarcity to an abundance mentality through feelings of intrinsic self-worth and a benevolent desire for mutual benefit.
Associated with Habit 5:
Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood is the endowment of courage balanced with consideration. Does it take courage and consideration to not be understood first? Think about it. Think about the problems you face. You tend to think, "You need to understand me, but you don't understand. I understand you, but you don't understand me. So let me tell you my story first, and then you can say what you want."
And the other person says, "Okay, I'll try to understand." But the whole time they're "listening," they're preparing their reply. They are just pretending to listen, selective listening. When you show your home movies or tell some chapter of you autobiography "let me tell you my experience" the other person is tuned out unless he feels understood.
What happens when you truly listen to another person? The whole relationship is transformed: "Someone started listening to me and they seemed to savor my words. They didn't agree or disagree, they just were listening and I felt as if they were seeing how I saw the world. And in that process, I found myself listening to myself. I started to feel a worth in myself."
The root cause of almost all people problems is the basic communication problem people do not listen with empathy. They listen from within their autobiography. They lack the skill and attitude of empathy. They need approval; they lack courage. Within their frame of reference, they say, "What can I do to please that person. He has this high need for control. Wait a minute, I'm the manager in control. I didn't come to listen I came to tell. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you." The ability to listen first requires restraint, respect, and reverence. And the ability to make yourself understood requires courage and consideration. On the continuum, you go from fight and flight instincts to mature two-way communication where courage is balanced with consideration.
Associated with Habit 6:
Synergize is the endowment of creativity the creation of something. How? By yourself? No, through two respectful minds communicating, producing solutions that are far better than what either originally proposed. Most negotiation is positional bargaining and results at best in compromise. But when you get into synergistic communication, you leave position. You understand basic underlying needs and interests and find solutions to satisfy them both.
Two Harvard professors, Roger Fisher and William Ury, in their book Getting to Yes outline a whole new approach to negotiation.
Instead of assuming two opposing positions "I want that window open." "No, closed." "No, open." with occasional compromise half open half the time they saw the possibility of synergy. "Why do you want it open?" "Well, I like the fresh air." "Why do you want it closed?" "I don't like the draft." "What can we do that would give the fresh air without the draft."
Now, two creative people who have respect for each other and who understand each other's needs might say, "Let's open the window in the next room. Let's rearrange the furniture. Let's open the top part of the window. Let's turn on the air conditioning."
They seek new alternatives because they are not defending positions. Whenever there's a difference, say, "Let's go for a synergistic win-win. Let's listen to each other. What is your need?" "Well, I'm in just the mood for this kind of a movie. What would you like?"
Maybe you can find a movie or some other activity that would satisfy both. And you get people thinking. And if you get the spirit of teamwork, you start to build a very powerful bond, an emotional bank account, and people are willing to subordinate their immediate wants for long-term relationships.
One of the most important commitments in a family or a business is never to badmouth. Always be loyal to those who are absent if you want to retain those who are present. And if you have problems, you go directly to the person to resolve them. If you refuse to badmouth someone behind their back to another person, what does that person know. When somebody badmouths him behind his back, you won't join in.
For example, during times of death, divorce, and remarriages, there are typically many strained feelings in families over the settlements. Family members who feel slighted or cheated often say nasty things about other family members. Think how much pain and anguish might be spared if members of the family would adhere to two basic principles: 1) People and relationships in our family are more important than things (people on their death bed never talk about spending more time at the office they talk about relationships); and 2) When we have any difficulty or difference, we will go directly to the person. We are responsible for our own attitudes and behaviors, and we can choose our responses to this circumstance.
With courage and consideration, we will communicate openly with each other and try to create win-win solutions. On the continuum, you go from defensive communication to compromise transactions to synergistic and creative alternatives and transformations.
Associated with Habit 7:
Sharpen the Saw is the unique endowment of continuous improvement or self-renewal to overcome entropy. If you don't constantly improve and renew yourself, you'll fall into entropy, closed systems and styles. At one end of the continuum is entropy (everything breaks down), and the other end is continuous improvement, innovation, and refinement. On the continuum, you go from a condition of entropy to a condition of continuous renewal, improvement, innovation, and refinement.
My hope in revisiting the Seven Habits is that you will use the seven unique human endowments associated with them to bless and benefit the lives of many other people.
© 1996, 1998 Covey Leadership Center and FranklinCovey. All rights reserved. Copyright 2004 FranklinCovey 1-800-819-1812.