Enlightened Perspective

ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned…. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned....That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned... . That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher. =0 A

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned ... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Attitude

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” Charles R. Swindoll

Life is short; enjoy it!

Burton Fletcher

Living With People

Living with People

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some friends and some true enemies: succeed anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous; be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you have anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

By Mother Theresa

Wish It, Dream It, Do It!

Wish it!
Dream it!
Do it!

These six words, when incorporated into your lifestyle, can help you to accomplish more!Have you ever known someone who was a procrastinator? I mean a SERIOUS procrastinator!

Well, I have known a few of these individuals who did not have the follow through to accomplish often great ideas.

I would prefer to associate myself with a person of average talent who works hard to accomplish their goals than a person of brilliance who cannot be depended on to do what he or she says he or she is going to do, thereby lacking dependability, much less failing to fulfill her or her potential.

Procrastinators are people who create stress in their own lives and the lives of others by their failure to manage their own lives effectively or efficiently.

If you cannot manage your own life; how can you expect you will ever be able to effectively manage the lives of others.

If a person fails to fulfill their potential; shame on them! However, if that same person undermines an organization's goals, then procrastination is psychological sabotage and like a rotten apple, must be plucked from our midst, lest the entire barrel rot as well.

Wish it!
Dream it!
Do it!

This is good advice for anyone!

Burton Fletcher
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The Old Man and the Dog

The Old Man and the Dog
By Catherine Moore

'Watch out! You nearly broadsided that car!' My father yelled at me. 'Can't you do anything right?'

Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle. 'I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving.'

My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature.

He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess. The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man. Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack.

An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone. My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm.

We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind.

But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it. The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, 'I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.' I listened as she read.

The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog. I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens.

Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons: too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray.

His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly. I pointed to the dog. 'Can you tell me about him?' The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement.'He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.' He gestured helplessly. As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. 'You mean you're going to kill him?''Ma'am,' he said gently, 'that's our policy.

We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.' I looked at the pointer again The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. 'I'll take him,' I said.I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.

'Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!' I said excitedly.Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. 'If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it' Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house. Anger rose inside me It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.'You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!'

Dad ignored me. 'Did you hear me, Dad?' I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him.

Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal. It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout.

They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet. Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends.

Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. 'Be not forgetful to entertain strangers.'

'I've often thanked God for sending that angel,' he said. For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article...

Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter, his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all.

Life is too short for drama and petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

Five Lessons About The Way We Treat People

** Five Lessons About The Way We Treat People

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely, " said the professor.

"In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his addre ss and thanked him.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.

A special note was attached.

It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.

Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,
Mrs Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.

There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.

The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

**From the Internet.... Source Anonymous.

That's Not Me...

"That's not me," my friend said, explaining why she does not wear makeup, nail polish and the like. "Okay," I said to myself; you are just being yourself, and what you are really saying is you do not have enough self esteem to take care of your appearance.

Have you ever known someone who thought the world evolved around them and their needs, idiocyncracies and view of the world. All of us are susceptible to this to some degree or another; however, some folks have excuses for all of their shortcomings in life, except for truthful excuses. "To thine own self be true," or in the vernacular of the street, "Do not bullshit thyself!"

Get your act together if you want to be seen as together. Actions speak louder than words and words speak volumes about the attitudes and beliefs of others, whether expressed or not. Like body language, there is often an incongruity between actions and words that must be heeded if we want to be in tune with the REAL person with whom we are dealing.

"That's not me...." is another way of expressing the view that you are not worth the effort for me to care about what you have to say. Your life is all about your needs, but also about the needs of your partner, and taking the time to celebrate life together!

Burton Fletcher
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Great Website

Wow! What a web Site !

Open the www site below and try this out on your computer. The screen will fill with the logos of most every store or info site that you will probably ever use. When you click on a logo, it takes you directly to the store or site you have selected. It's a great time saver and you don't have to hunt and type addresses on the Internet.

http://www.allmyfaves.com

Please Come See Me....

"Please come see me," my adult friend wailed.

"I'm sorry, but I need this time for me," I responded.

"I need this time to tune out the world, recharge my batteries, and rejuvenate."

"Yes, but isn't life to be 'celebrated,'" she said.

Yes, and this is how I celebrate my life on days when I need to rejuvenate."

Everyone has their needs and I must look out for my needs FIRST. I can only look after your needs so much before I start sacrificing my own needs. Sorry!

I do not like excessively NEEDY people who manipulate others by crying, begging, manipulation through guilt, sex or a plethora of other means, legal or illegal.

If you love someone, love yourself FIRST. If you do not love yourself; how can you expect others to love you.

Take care of your own needs FIRST.

Celebrate your own life FIRST.

Always remember the first rule in lifesaving is to save your own life!

Along the way, help others, but take care of yourself and respond to your own needs first.

After all, it is the right thing to do!

Burton Fletcher
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Life Should Be Celebrated....

" Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated! "

These are the words I read on a coffee cup and words that should be inspirational to all. Do you "live" your life; or, do you "celebrate" your life?

As I have become older--and wiser--I appreciate the importance of celebrating life. In my youth, I gave little thought to my own mortality or to celebrating my life. Now, as a senior citizen, I accept my mortality and I celebrate my past, present and my future. I hope you are doing the same.


Burton Fletcher
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St. Francis of Assisi

For those in despair and in need of a psychological retreat, I recommend reading the referenced prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. His life story is remarkable and one that I am confident you will enjoy. Please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Francis_of_Assisi

Burton Fletcher
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The Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer has touched a great many lives in a positive manner. I know that during times of distress I have leaned on the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer. I hope it will comfort you too.

For more information on The Serenity Prayer, please see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_prayer#cite_note-2


Burton Fletcher
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What is Success? by Bessie A. Stanley

What is Success? by Bessie A. Stanley

The next time someone asks about the meaning of success, a question right up there with "what is the meaning of life," you will have the makings for a good answer at your fingertips.

Here's a more complete version of this famous poem by Bessie A. Stanley. This was the prize-winning definition of success which won a contest sponsored by Brown book Magazine, Boston, circa 1904.

"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;

who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of small children;

who has filled his niche, and accomplished his task;

who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;

who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty, or failed to express it;

who has always looked for the best in others, and given them the best he had;

whose life was an inspiration;

whose memory a benediction."

Bessie Anderson Stanley


Burton Fletcher
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A Thankful Heart And A Happy Home....

"A thankful heart and a happy home go hand in hand."

Too often, I feel that we lose sight of all that we have to be thankful for, in this country, in this state, in this county, in this city, in this neighborhood, on this street, and in this home. You can take the large view or the narrow view but how you look at life will determine your happiness.

As a retired educator, I observed during my days as an active college and university professor, that often the laziest educators were often the happiest, going about their lives like cows chewing their cud while walking single file down a cow path. Conversely, those who truly cared about the academic environment and the institution, and who worked hard to improve it, were often the least happy.

Wherever you are in life, be thankful for the positives and focus on those positives. The same goes for your home. If your heart is thankful, your home will be happier too.

Burton Fletcher
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Count Your Blessings & The 80-20 Rule In Relationships

If you are in a relationship that meets 80% of your needs, count your blessings. If you are happy, regardless of the percentage of your needs that are met, then count your blessings. Most successful relationships may fit the 80-20 rule with 80% of your needs being met.

The danger is feeling dissatisfaction and acting destructively when the other 20% of your needs are not met. If you are searching for someone to fulfill 100% of your needs, I predict great disappointment or even failure in your relationship.

Clear communication is the key and if your significant other is not listening, both you and they must make choices that may be hard or easy depending on the negative impact your partner's actions may be having on you, or your actions may be having on your partner.

Dealing with conflict in relationships is not easy. The more we have invested in the relationship, the more interpersonal warfare hurts and should be avoided.

While you cannot remake your personality, you can show consideration for your partner. If your partner abhors procrastination, then you need to work on those behaviors. If you are angry, then you need to address those issues that make you angry.

Relationships are a two-way street and should not be abandoned lightly. When you breakup a relationship, you lose the shared history that is so meaningful to bond the couple or friends together.

A relationship that fulfills 80% of your needs should not be abandoned or lost by a search for fulfillment of the other 20% that you may be missing. No relationship is perfect. You can live your life always looking for a person to fulfill 100% of your needs; however, those who are "picky", or seeking perfection, should be prepared for a lot of misery.

Even when we find our "ideal mate" we should know that just as we will be growing, our partner will be growing too. The person you married 20 years ago is not the same person today, and neither are you.

Love is a beautiful thing and it should be cherished. Crazy making should be avoided for your peace of mind and for the sake of the love you have for your partner.

Compromise is essential in any relationship. Count your blessings when you are in a relationship. The singles scene is not a pleasant place to be and should be avoided if both partners are willing to work toward shared goals.

Give and take and you'll be more likely to be successful in your relationship. I encourage everyone to focus on the positives and count your blessings; after all, it is the right thing to do for a happier life.

Burton Fletcher
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Don't Waste It....

The attached thoughts were discovered in an antique store and the advice was so good that I thought I would pass it along.

Life is short--too short--and we never know when our last day will present itself. Just ask any fan of "Meet the Press" who recently lost long-time host Tim Russert at age 58.

Mr. Russert was much too young to have died of a heart attack. His death should be a reminder to all of us that we should not waste a day with negative actions or negative thoughts.

Express positive feelings. Appreciate nature. Express gratitude. Avoid and remedy quarrels. Keep your promises. Share your feelings of love over and over so your loved ones will know you appreciate them.

This is not a full list of the things to do and not do; however, these are good reminders to everyone travelling on this journey we call life.

Burton Fletcher
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James Dean's Advice: Dream and Live.

So, how should we live our lives? James Dean's quote is one thought on the subject. Dreaming and living are important aspects to how we live our lives and I believe that no life can truly be fulfilled unless dreams are part of that life.

Burton Fletcher
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An actor must interpret life, and in order to do so must be willing to accept all the experiences life has to offer. In fact, he must seek out more of life than life puts at his feet. James Dean

Being a good actor isn't easy. Being a man is even harder. I want to be both before I'm done. James Dean

Being an actor is the loneliest thing in the world. You are all alone with your concentration and imagination, and that's all you have. James Dean

But you can't show some far off idyllic conception of behavior if you want the kids to come and see the picture. You've got to show what it's really like, and try to reach them on their own grounds. James Dean

Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow. James Dean

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. James Dean

I also became close to nature, and am now able to appreciate the beauty with which this world is endowed. James Dean

I think the one thing this picture shows that's new is the psychological disproportion of the kids' demands on the parents. Parents are often at fault, but the kids have some work to do, too. James Dean

I want to be a Texan 24 hours a day. James Dean

If a man can bridge the gap between life and death, if he can live on after he's dead, then maybe he was a great man. James Dean

It was an accident, although I've been involved in some kind of theatrical function or other since I was a child - in school, music, athletics. James Dean

Only the gentle are ever really strong. James Dean

Studying cows, pigs and chickens can help an actor develop his character. There are a lot of things I learned from animals. One was that they couldn't hiss or boo me. James Dean

The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results. James Dean

The only greatness for man is immortality. James DeanThere is no way to be truly great in this world. We are all impaled on the crook of conditioning. James Dean

To grasp the full significance of life is the actor's duty; to interpret it his problem; and to express it his dedication. James Dean

To me, acting is the most logical way for people's neuroses to manifest themselves, in this great need we all have to express ourselves. James Dean

To my way of thinking, an actor's course is set even before he's out of the cradle. James Dean

Trust and belief are two prime considerations. You must not allow yourself to be opinionated. James Dean

When an actor plays a scene exactly the way a director orders, it isn't acting. It's following instructions. Anyone with the physical qualifications can do that. James Dean

Eleanor Roosevelt on Dreams

The accurate quote is "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Actually, whether you believe your dreams are beautiful, or freightening, what you believe will determine your vision and your vision will become your reality.

Eleanor Roosevelt was a great woman and humanitarian who inspired millions with her courage and commitment to serve others. I hope you will believe strongly in the beauty of your dreams.

If you really believe, your dreams are more likely to become reality. When you vividly foresee your dreams and you then focus your belief system and actions intensely, like a laserbeam, they are more likely to be realized.

I have identified several of Mrs. Roosevelt's quotes below that I found on the web. I hope you enjoy them.

Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
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A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
Eleanor Roosevelt

I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt

I could not at any age be content to take my place in a corner by the fireside and simply look on.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Justice cannot be for one side alone, but must be for both.
Eleanor Roosevelt

If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault.
Eleanor Roosevelt

It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.
Eleanor Roosevelt

One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.
Eleanor Roosevelt

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937

People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.
Eleanor Roosevelt, My Day

Count Your Blessings

"Count your blessings" and appreciate life.

I was talking with a friend today and was informed that a relative "committed suicide." I have had numerous relatives commit suicide and I understand depression and the dangers it entails; however, I believe it is a very selfish act to commit suicide.

It is not for me to judge the individual who ends their own life; however, I believe there is unrecognized good in everyone's life and everyone should count their blessings.

It is a simple truth that life could be worse for just about everyone. No matter what your station in life, count your blessings and know that there are others worse off than yourself. With this knowledge, count your blessings and make the most of the challenges in your life. If not for yourself, for your family and friends. After all, it is the right thing to do.

Burton Fletcher
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Rules For Communication

I saw the referenced plaque in an antique store in Lake City, Florida. It reminds me that every business and individual needs self-imposed rules of conduct.

Today, I received an outrageous email from an acquaintance espousing a political view much different than my own. I called my acquaintance and gently informed him that my views were the polar opposite of his own.

I saw no need to be disagreeable or impolite and I did not attempt to change his viewpoint. I did inform him that my views were different than his and I then dropped the subject.

Sex, religion and politics are three subjects among many where great caution should be exercised. Relationships can be needlessly fractured by carelessly revealing views that are personal to the individual.

Use caution when discussing controversial topics and you will enjoy a happier life.

Burton Fletcher
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Scatter Seeds of Kindness and Find Peace

What gives you peace of mind? I suggest the acts of being kind to others is one of the ways you can reach inner peace. It is said that the act of giving benefits the giver more than the receiver. I feel an inner warmth when I "scatter seeds of kindness" by performing good deeds for others. I suggest that you will too.

Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
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Whoo Hoo!!! You Rock.

"Whoo Hoo!!! You Rock."

I received this message today and it reminds me of the value of humor in communication. Whenever possible, a message delivered with humor stands out from all others.

When communicating, choose your words with your reader in mind, and both you and your reader will be glad you did.

Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
http://www.callourlawyers.com/
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The Miracle of Friendship

Friendship is a gift and it does bring you happiness. Be greatful for your friends and cherish those relationships.



Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
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Clock of Life

"The clock of life is wound but once
And no man has the power
To tell just when the hands will stop
At late or early hour

Now is the only time you own
Live, love, toil with a will
place no faith in tomorrow
The hands may then be still."

So, what do these words say to you? To me, they suggest we should live in the moment, enjoying that moment and making the most of the opportunity and good fortune to be alive. If you visit the cemetery, you will find a great many who have died at an age younger than you are now. They too lived. They died as you will too.

How we live is important and I would like to think that I have made the world a better place. How about you? Make the most of yourself and the time you own. Live, laugh and love.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
www.CallOurLawyers.com
www.GeorgiaLoanClosers.com
www.GeorgiaSigningAgents.com

Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much

"Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much" are inspirational words that inspire me in my day-to-day living. How about you?

Do you have a Gregorian chant to provide yourself with positive self talk? If not, I suggest you reflect on your self talk and think about how you can pull yourself up when the world seems to be dragging you down.

"If it is to be, it is up to me," were words I used to push myself through law school years ago. I would repeat those words and reflect on the obvious wisdom that we are in control of our own destiny.

I encourage you to "Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much" and to realize that life is all too short and you might as well make the most of it as there are no rehearsals. Celebrate your life!

Burton Fletcher

http://www.usamonuments.com/

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Imagination Is Everything

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein

Throughout my professional career, I have observed a great many people who excelled in the area of imagination. I believe myself to be imaginative and this skill has aided me throughout my career.

Those with imagination have more control over their lives, their future and their destiny.

Without imagination, you cannot see over the horizon, much less around the corner.

As Albert Einstein said, your “coming attractions” will be based upon your “imagination”, and the quality of your life will be more remarkable if you will develop and exercise your imagination. Today, we commonly call this skill “thinking outside the box.”

Burton Fletcher

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How To Have A Successful Marriage

Love, itself, is not enough for a successful relationship or marriage. A good relationship should precede marriage and a good relationship must be created. The attached picture suggests ways to improve the opportunity for success in a relationship as well as marriage. Try it!

Burton Fletcher

That Man Is A Success

What is success? The answer will vary depending upon the person and their stage of life.

A person who lives well, laughs often, who loves and who loves others, who has an appreciation of earth's beauty, and who is a dreamer and a pursuer of excellence. The ability to motivate others and who gives 100% of himself or herself. This person is a success!

Sigma Alpha Epsilon Honors Burton Fletcher With Order of The Lion Award

Burton Fletcher, a member of the Pensacola Area Alumni Association, http://www.pensacolasae.com/ supporting the Florida Sigma Chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity, bestowed Valdosta attorney Burton Fletcher, the owner of Georgia Loan Closers.com, the distinguished “Order of The Lion” designation “for recognition of continued leadership, dedication and loyal service to the Fraternity.”

Fletcher is a long-time supporter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity. He was initiated into the fraternity at the University of West Florida in 1974, graduated with a B.S. degree in Marketing in 1975, an MBA in 1976, and later received his Juris Doctorate with Honors from Western State University College of Law in 1980.

Fletcher has served in numerous leadership positions, including president of the fraternity and the board of directors of the House Corporation. The Order of the Lion Award is a prestigious honor for exceptional service to the fraternity.
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Family History Questionnaire

Family History Questionnaire, Family History, Family History Plaques, Family, Genealogy

We have a wonderful Family History Questionnaire on www.ValdostaMemorials.com at http://www.valdostamemorials.com/family_history_questionnaire.htm.

Burton Fletcher

Authorized Dealer of Music of the Spheres Windchimes

We are dealers of Music of the Spheres Windchimes. http://www.musicofspheres.com/chimesizes.html.

Let us help you save money with your purchase.

Burton Fletcher
Burton@USAMonuments.com

Friends Are Like Balloons

Friends Are Like Balloons!

A sharp tongue can cut my own throat.

If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn't oversleep.

Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important.

The best vitamin for making friends. B1.

The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts.

The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge.

One thing I can give and still keep...is my word.I lie the loudest when I lie to myself.

If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished.

One thing I can't recycle is wasted time.Ideas won't work unless 'I ' do.

My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!

It is never too late to become what I might have been.

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back.

Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away.

Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong.

Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late.

I don't want to let that happen so I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose you.

Send this to all your friends including me and see how many you get back. Even send it to your balloons that you think have flown away forever.

Wonderful throughts from a friend to share with all of my friends who are both known and unknown.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
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www.AtlantaLoanClosers.com

The World's Deadliest Shotgun

AA-12, the world's deadliest shotgun! I am amazed by the power of this weapon. I'm scratching my head in wonder about where this stands with the 2nd Amendment Crowd? No game is too big for this weapon and with squirrels, I suppose you just shoot down the tree and kill the squirrel that way!

I have heard that bigger is better, but this gives new meaning to that concept.

http://uk..youtube.com/watch?v=p4ebtj1jR7c&NR=1

Do What You Think Is Right!

I received a version of the following comments recently that I have edited.

A father, son, and donkey are walking to town and pass a guy who says, “Why would both of you walk when you have a donkey, one of you needs to ride the donkey or else that’s dumb!” The father looks at his son and says “He’s right; you need to get on the donkey.”

They pass another gentleman a mile later who says “How selfish of the boy to ride while his poor old dad walks, young man you need to let your Dad ride the donkey out of respect for your elders.” The son looks at his father and says “He’s right, Dad you need to get on the donkey, I’ll walk,” and then dad gets on the donkey.

A mile later they pass another gentleman who says “what kind of father is this, to allow his poor son to walk while he rides in comfort.”

The moral of the story, do what you think is right anyway; as others will always have differing opinions and suggestions.

Things You Would Love to Say - But Don't Dare

Strange Quotes:

"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?' --Larry Miller

"A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad." --Christopher Case

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh." --Conan O'Brien

"I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman." --Bruce Baum

"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." --Sue Murphy

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - Things You Would Love to Say - But Don't
Dare

You'd Love To Say It, But Don't Dare Part II

What am I?... Flypaper for freaks!

And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?

Do I look like a people person?

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER - my work here is done.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com

Colonoscopies Are No Joke!

Colonoscopies are no joke , but these comments during the exam are quitehumorous.....

A physician claimed that the following were actual commentsmade by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing theircolonoscopies :

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

13. "Should I smile for my Kodak Moment?"

And the best one of all...

14. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com

What Do You Say To Those Who Are Grieving?

What do you say to those in grief who has lost a loved one, whether that person was a human or a pet friend? How do you express yourself to comfort and support during a time of intense emotional distress? The following are words that are worthy of sharing so I am passing them along to my readers. I hope you enjoy them.

As the days and weeks pass, and as you return to life’s routine, may you continue to feel comforted by the love and support of family and friends.

I was so sorry to hear of your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help at this time.

I was so sorry to hear of your loss. The thoughts of many are with you at this time of sorrow.

May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.

May the love of friends and family carry you through your grief.

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well-lived.

My heart goes out to you at this time and in the days ahead.

My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.

No bond is as great as that between a parent and child. Our deepest condolences are with you as you grieve.

Our hearts go out to you at this time and in the days ahead.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. May your memories bring you comfort.

Please accept our deepest sympathies.

Take comfort in knowing that now you have a special guardian angel to watch over you.

The loss of someone so close is difficult to bear. We share your grief.

We were so sorry to hear of your loss. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help at this time.

We were so sorry to hear of your loss. The thoughts of many are with you at this time of sorrow.

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Take a peak at http://www.ruthann1.com for many other thoughtful expressions that may help you say or write words that are appropriate for the occasion.

Burton Fletcher
Burton@USAMonuments.com

After-Death Instructions

The following template may be of value to express your end-of-life wishes. If you do not provide your wishes in written form, you may look down from Heaven to see that there is confusion and misunderstanding as to your after-death instructions. Take the time to clearly communicate your wishes so your grieving relatives will not be likely to make ill-informed decisions after your death.

After-Death Instructions For (Your Name)

I, (Your Name), being of sound mind, do hereby specify and declare my wishes regarding the end of my life.

Coordinators: (Names) will be in charge of my burial arrangements. The two will be authorized to make decisions in accord with these instructions.

Donor: Parts of my body may be harvested as may be needed to aid the lives of others. This bequest includes my eyes, skin, bone and organs.

Cremation: After donor harvesting, I desire that my body be cremated.

Interment: I desire that my cremains be interred in a memorial bench in the _____________ Family Plots at the __________________ Church Cemetery in ____________, ________.

I desire that my ashes be placed in a blue urn in my possession. The urn of my companion, ______________ is pink. Both urns will be interred together. It is my desire that the wooden urn for my beloved pet, ___________, be interred with us. When my pets, ___________and __________ die, I desire that they be cremated and that their cremains be interred with our cremains. At that time, the cremation bench should be permanently sealed for security.

Viewing: I oppose any type of public viewing of my body. My body should be available for private viewing by my immediate family, without makeup and in a natural state, for two hours at the place of my death. Thereafter, I request that my body not be available for viewing.

Embalming: I oppose any embalming of my remains.

Funeral &
Memorial
Service: I oppose and desire that there be no public funeral or memorial service. Should the family desire an interment ceremony at the graveside, then it is my desire that _________ be in charge of the service.

Obituary: I desire that the attached obituary and photograph be published in the following newspapers:

Names, addresses, phone and email for newspapers.

Online Obituary: I desire that I have a permanent online obituary.

I declare that these are my requests on the date indicated. All previous instructions are null and void.

___________________________________
Date, Your Name and Signature

I declare that the above person personally appeared before me this date, executed this document, and asked that his wishes be performed in accord with these instructions.

___________________________________
Date, Printed Name and Signature of Witnesses



___________________________________
Date, Printed Name, Signature and Notarial Seal

To Practice Death Is To Practice Freedom

I received a message today with a reference to a website post worthy of attention.

"Men come and they go and they trot and they dance, and never a word about death. All well and good. Yet when death does come - to them, their wives, their children, their friends - catching them unawares and unprepared, then what storms of passion overwhelm them, what cries, what fury, what despair!

To begin depriving death of its greatest advantage over us, let us adopt a way clean contrary to that common one; let us deprive death of its strangeness, let us frequent it, let us get used to it; let us have nothing more often in mind than death... We do not know where death awaits us: so let us wait for it everywhere.

To practice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.

- Montaigne"

This Pastor Had Guts

The following message is circulating through cyberspace and I think it is worth giving a moment to pause, read and reflect on our values. You may or may not agree with every point; however, it should serve to give you ideas to consider.

This Pastor Had Guts

Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in Kansas at the opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some people.

Please read this message.

When minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:

"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know your word says,"Woe to those who call evil good" but that is exactly what we have done.

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.

We have abused power and called it politics.

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of speech and expression.

We have ridiculed the time honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!"

The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively.

The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea.

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio Program, "TheRest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired.

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "one nation under God."

If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends."

If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."

Think about this: If you forward this prayer to everyone on your email list, in less than 30 days it would be heard by the world.

How many people in your address book will not receive this prayer.....do you have the guts to pass it on? I just did.

Mental Feng Shui

I received the following message from a friend. It has great words of advice.

"This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. There's some mighty fine advice in these words.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. "

An Update Regarding The Kenneth Kendrick Memorial

I received the following email from Becky Porter regarding an earlier article of mine relating to the Kenneth Kendrick Memorial shown with this article.

Ms. Porter was kind to share thoughts regarding my article and to highlight some of the many accomplishments of Kenneth Kendrick, a life well lived.

"Hello... My pastor mentioned something today in church that made me think of Kenneth Kendrick. After coming home I decided to look on the internet and see just what I could find out about Kenneth.

I ran across your article about the Kenneth Kendrick Memorial. You mentioned that there must be a story and you wish his monument had said more about his story, and you had wondered why he had died at the age of 43.

I have known Kenneth all my life. We were in kindergarden together. We came from a small town in Georgia, Metter. Kenneth was always different, but very artistic and as intelligent as anyone you have ever met. Anything, and I do mean anything, he did, he did it exceptionally well. He was very talented.

At college he studied art, excelling in all his studies. I believe one of his first careers was in designing logos. He won awards all over the world. He was one of the logoists used to design the new signage for Underground Atlanta when it underwent a huge remodeling . He did art work for Coke cans highlighting the summer Olympics in Montreal (I believe it was Montreal), did posters for Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" drug campaign and many other accomplishments.

The last career he had was as art director of the Sunday magazine of the New York Times. Kenneth knew he was dying, he had AIDS, and he designed his monument that is there in the cemetary in Eldridge, Alabama. I have visited that grave more than once. His companion, Owen, is buried next to him now. He died a year or so later.

I hope I have not bored you but I just felt I should share some of his story. Kenneth was a unique person. Our class will be having our 40th class reunion May 12 and we will miss him.

Becky Porter
Lyons, Georgia"

Ms. Porter, you have honored me with your words humanizing the life of Kenneth Kendrick. I am happy to share your throughts regarding a remarkable life with my readers.

My original article may be read at http://www.valdostamemorials.com/articles/ArticleBalls.asp.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Tel: 229.245.8858
Burton@USAMonuments.com

The Future For Memorialization

Tom Roberts, president of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association wrote an informative column in the January 2007 issue of the ICCFA Magazine that caught my attention.

Roberts' column addresses several topics including the increasing role of cremation and the challenges and opportunities for the death-care industry.

Roberts wrote of his recent trip to Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong, China and how he was highly impressed with the high quality products he observed in a country where "cremation is 98% of the market" and cremation rates in the U.S. are increasing annually.

We too have been very impressed with the high quality products we have manufactured in China for our clients.

Roberts wrote: "Their Chinese staff have traveled all over the world searching for new concepts to integrate into their properties to "perfect" their brand.Two of the cemeteries we toured, TianShou, Beijing (begun in 1997), and Fu Shou Yuan, Shanghai (begun in 1994), were nothing short of remarkable. The scenic beauty of gardens, fountains, monuments and features, set against a backdrop of mountains and rivers, truly illustrates that there is a future for cremation service and burial."

Gardens, fountains, monuments and scenery are harmonized to create a beautiful environment.

"A funeral house we visited serves 25,000 families per year. It provides a traditional funeral service before the family moves to the cemetery for a committal ceremony and then cremation at a third location. We were very impressed with the personalization demonstrated in their monuments."

Traditional funeral service, committal ceremony and cremation can be tied together in a manner that offers personalization that honors a life.

"Some sections require that each monument be individually designed to reflect the life and accomplishments of the individual. The cemeteries we visited have several design teams and artists available to meet with families for customization. In cities where the average per capita income is less than $8,000, many families choose to expend significant sums on their burial choices. This was not because they were persuaded to do so, but rather because the option was available and they found value and meaning in their selections."

Personalization through design teams should offer significant perceived value to the clients whom we serve.

I favor cemetery sections dedicated to original creations that reflect the life and accomplishments of individuals who have lived remarkable lives. This concept reminds me of zoning for homes. If you own a million dollar home, you would not want an old dilapidated, poorly maintained trailer next to your majestic beauty. Likewise, cemeteries can be harmonized by proper organization and management.

"In the land of cremation, what we encountered was not direct disposal without meaningful ceremony, but examples of memorialization, love, humanity, cultural recognition, life education and environmental considerations. Jìngzu, ancestor veneration-the honoring of the deeds, sacrifices and memories of the deceased-has a long tradition in China (as well as in some other countries around the world). As our culture moves toward increased cremation, these are concepts we must strive to maintain in what we provide."

Ancestor veneration is a great idea and one that I advocate with our Life History Plaques (SM). Likewise, "memorialization, love, humanity, cultural recognition, life education and environmental considerations" are important ideas to be considered as part of memorialization.

Roberts astutely recognizes that the public, and not the death-care industry, will decide the future for the industry. The industry is reinventing itself "while embracing universally accepted core values of remembrance, celebration of life and memorialization.

Source: Tom Roberts, CCE, ICCFA president for 2006-2007, is president of Allegheny Cemetery in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. www.alleghenycemetery.com. See http://icfa.org/roberts1.07.htm for Mr. Roberts' article.

Burton Fletcher

www.USAMonuments.com

Burton@USAMonuments.com

Listen To Your Friends And Live Within Your Means!

"Helen" was my student during the early 1980s, and like many of my former students, we have maintained a friendship over the years.

Helen and I had a recent conversation that I thought I might share with some of my readers.

Helen is a talented woman, now retired, and living an affluent lifestyle in a city far away from her family and friends of many years.

As will occur as we grow older, Helen has developed some health problems in recent years. Also, she has been living at or above her means for several years.

When Helen consulted me, my advice was to put her finances in order, she could either increase her stream of revenues or reduce her expenses.

Unfortunately, as we age, there are fewer career paths open to us as potential employers refuse to hire us as they are unwilling to carry the financial burden of medical insurance that would not exist with the hiring of a young worker.

Age and other forms of illegal discrimination are pervasive throughout our society. What can I say but, "Life is not fair!"

In reply to my advice, Helen wrote me a thank you note expressing the following:

"Burton, after speaking to you yesterday, I have decided to take your good advice and downsize. As you said, it is always good to get another person's perspective on your problem."

"Starting today, I plan to get the ball rolling towards selling this house and obtaining another in California, for a lot less money and upkeep. Instead of spending my life savings on this house and an expensive lifestyle, I need to be conservative and save for the future."

"You are right, at my age it is going to be very hard to get the job that I want, so getting my _________ license is the best way to earn an income without all of the hassles of a full time or part time job teaching. I plan to check on a _______ license for California."

"Thanks again for that reality check. I needed that advice to motivate me to take the necessary path that I need to follow to have a more prosperous future."

"I value your friendship. Thanks for being there for me."

Listen to those who care about you and who have valuable advice to share. If my advice is followed, as I expect it will be, my friend will live a longer and happier life.

A closed circle without external inputs perpetuates the same decisions of the past. If you want better results, something has to change to act as a catalyst that will bring about a different outcome in the dynamic world that we live.

Thank you, Helen! I value your friendship because you have been there for me too!

Listen to your friends and live within your means!

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com

Note: I invite my readers to share their opinions and contributions by writing me at Burton@USAMonuments.com. From time to time, I post reader's comments on my blogs. A blog dedicated to the monument industry can be found at www.granitetroll.blogspot.com.

Who Will Write Your Legacy Obituary?

I start this column with the question, "Who will write your obituary?"

If you have lived a noteworthy life, you may be fortunate enough that television, magazines, radio and newspapers will publish the news of your passing with commentary and articles mourning your passing. For most of us, our passing will be only be noted in the obituary we write, provide to the funeral home, and we pay for inclusion in the obituary section of our local newspaper.

If you have lived a meaningful life, one that you are proud of, and one that should inspire your relatives and descendants, perhaps you should give serious consideration to writing your own obituary. Without a permanent record, details of your life will be lost to future generations.

When I was a boy, my older cousin, Thomas Lee "Tommy" Harper lived with our family for two years. After he moved away, we saw each other only occasionally.

Years later, Tommy died as a result of suicide. I have heard bits and pieces of the alleged facts, but the picture as a whole is unknown to me.

Last year, I visited Jacksonville, Florida for the purpose of photographing cemetery monuments and with the goal of visiting Tommy's grave and the graves of other relatives. With advance research and planning, I was able to locate Tommy's grave.

As the photo shows, it is a simple bronze marker. During the time that Tommy and I lost touch with each other, he had, apparently, served in the U.S. Army. Wow! This detail surprised me.

A clue to Tommy's life I thought! Unfortunately, other than the single clue, "U.S. Army" there is nothing else about Tommy's service in the military of our great country. How long did he serve? What training did he receive? Where was he stationed? Did he serve in Vietnam? What was his rank when he was discharged? Did he earn any medals? I wish a lot more clues had been left for the genealogist in the family.

How many details regarding your life will you leave for your ancestors? Will yours be a life with no more details than those left on your tombstone, or will you have a meaningful legacy obituary that summarizes the meaningful highlights of your life?

Think about it, but do much more than just thinking; how about taking action now, by making your end-of-life plans with your funeral home.

Write your legacy obituary and give detailed written instructions to your family and to the funeral home regarding your wishes. If you love your family, you should not add to the stressful burden your loss will bring, so be considerate and demonstrate your love for others and take action now. After all, it is the right thing to do.

Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com