Recently, I attended the preburial viewing for a gentleman whom I grew up with in a small Northcentral Florida farm community.
Upon arrival at the funeral home, I signed in, looked around for the family whom I know, but did not immediately see, and I then proceeded to walk down the aisle to view the body. "Gee, he looks old," I thought, as I viewed the cancer-ravaged body of a man who was slightly younger than myself.
The viewing of my body is one ritual that I do not want any part of when I die. I do not want anyone looking at my body in a casket, scrutinizing my body, face, hair, fingernails, neatness of my facial hair, or whatever else it is that folks notice about persons who are dead.
I would not want that scrutiny why I am alive and I certainly do not want that scrutiny after my death. Please remember me as I was during my life.
I recall viewing the body of a former roommate in California who had been the assistant manager for a Bob's Big Boy. Sadly, he was murdered by robbers. As his body lay in the casket, I saw blood beneath his fingernails! Surely the mortician could have cleaned his fingernails!
As a boy, I recall the ritual of attending a "wake" for my grandfather, Burton Eugene Fletcher. His casket was in the living room of the family home and folks were eating in the same room during his last night on this earth.
We did the same for my Great Uncle Burton Mobley, the brother of Ethel Mobley Fletcher, my grandmother, though he had committed suicide some 9 months or so before his body was delivered to the family. Fortunately, a detective had taken the effort to track down Uncle Burt's family before his body was disposed of as abandoned or perhaps buried in a pauper's grave.
Thankfully, the ritual of the wake seems to have passed away for many folk. I hope the ritual of viewing the body will also pass away. If you tell me someone died, I am going to believe you. I do not need to see the body to believe you!
I often hear comments about the appearance of the dead like, "he looked so natural," or "he did not look good," et cetera. In essence, the mortician can do a good or a bad job with the appearance of the deceased. The art of the mortician is a talent to be admired, but it is also an effort that I would argue should be less common.
I recall watching a rerun of "Six Feet Under," an HBO program that I loved for its wacky look at the funeral-home business, with a segment in which Lucy was secretly taking photos for an art project. Lucy took beautiful photos of the deceased patrons as they lay in repose in the caskets at the family funeral home.
I have made it very, very clear to my family that I want to be cremated upon death, and I do not want a public viewing of my body. If I die in the hospital, I want my immediate family to have a brief opportunity to view my body in its natural state--without makeup. Then, I want my body taken directly to the crematory for processing. Period.
A memorial service is optional and I can forego that ritual as well. I have my urn and my monument and I have given clear instructions as to my end-of-life wishes. Do you hear me family?
Now, I certaily respect the wishes of others who desire to have a funeral or a memorial service, with or without a cremation or traditional burial; however, I hope my own views should be respected--and followed.
The death ritual should fulfill my wishes and whatever your own thoughts, shouldn't I have the ultimate say? I am of sound mind and I have made my wishes abundantly clear, so dear family, please honor me by following MY wishes.
Dearest family, please remember that I do not want a viewing of my remains in a church, funeral home or graveside service. Instead, should you desire to hold a memorial service, I suggest that you use a large oil painting that portrays my life some 15 years or so ago. That will be enough.
Also, please remember that I have already written my obituary and you will find copies in print and MS Word and .rtf formats on a disc in my file at the funeral home. I have shown my love for my family by planning the necessary activities that conclude my life. I love you dear family, now please honor my wishes.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Upon arrival at the funeral home, I signed in, looked around for the family whom I know, but did not immediately see, and I then proceeded to walk down the aisle to view the body. "Gee, he looks old," I thought, as I viewed the cancer-ravaged body of a man who was slightly younger than myself.
The viewing of my body is one ritual that I do not want any part of when I die. I do not want anyone looking at my body in a casket, scrutinizing my body, face, hair, fingernails, neatness of my facial hair, or whatever else it is that folks notice about persons who are dead.
I would not want that scrutiny why I am alive and I certainly do not want that scrutiny after my death. Please remember me as I was during my life.
I recall viewing the body of a former roommate in California who had been the assistant manager for a Bob's Big Boy. Sadly, he was murdered by robbers. As his body lay in the casket, I saw blood beneath his fingernails! Surely the mortician could have cleaned his fingernails!
As a boy, I recall the ritual of attending a "wake" for my grandfather, Burton Eugene Fletcher. His casket was in the living room of the family home and folks were eating in the same room during his last night on this earth.
We did the same for my Great Uncle Burton Mobley, the brother of Ethel Mobley Fletcher, my grandmother, though he had committed suicide some 9 months or so before his body was delivered to the family. Fortunately, a detective had taken the effort to track down Uncle Burt's family before his body was disposed of as abandoned or perhaps buried in a pauper's grave.
Thankfully, the ritual of the wake seems to have passed away for many folk. I hope the ritual of viewing the body will also pass away. If you tell me someone died, I am going to believe you. I do not need to see the body to believe you!
I often hear comments about the appearance of the dead like, "he looked so natural," or "he did not look good," et cetera. In essence, the mortician can do a good or a bad job with the appearance of the deceased. The art of the mortician is a talent to be admired, but it is also an effort that I would argue should be less common.
I recall watching a rerun of "Six Feet Under," an HBO program that I loved for its wacky look at the funeral-home business, with a segment in which Lucy was secretly taking photos for an art project. Lucy took beautiful photos of the deceased patrons as they lay in repose in the caskets at the family funeral home.
I have made it very, very clear to my family that I want to be cremated upon death, and I do not want a public viewing of my body. If I die in the hospital, I want my immediate family to have a brief opportunity to view my body in its natural state--without makeup. Then, I want my body taken directly to the crematory for processing. Period.
A memorial service is optional and I can forego that ritual as well. I have my urn and my monument and I have given clear instructions as to my end-of-life wishes. Do you hear me family?
Now, I certaily respect the wishes of others who desire to have a funeral or a memorial service, with or without a cremation or traditional burial; however, I hope my own views should be respected--and followed.
The death ritual should fulfill my wishes and whatever your own thoughts, shouldn't I have the ultimate say? I am of sound mind and I have made my wishes abundantly clear, so dear family, please honor me by following MY wishes.
Dearest family, please remember that I do not want a viewing of my remains in a church, funeral home or graveside service. Instead, should you desire to hold a memorial service, I suggest that you use a large oil painting that portrays my life some 15 years or so ago. That will be enough.
Also, please remember that I have already written my obituary and you will find copies in print and MS Word and .rtf formats on a disc in my file at the funeral home. I have shown my love for my family by planning the necessary activities that conclude my life. I love you dear family, now please honor my wishes.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
