The following message is circulating through cyberspace and I think it is worth giving a moment to pause, read and reflect on our values. You may or may not agree with every point; however, it should serve to give you ideas to consider.
This Pastor Had Guts
Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in Kansas at the opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some people.
Please read this message.
When minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:
"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know your word says,"Woe to those who call evil good" but that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of speech and expression.
We have ridiculed the time honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!"
The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively.
The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea.
Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio Program, "TheRest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired.
With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "one nation under God."
If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends."
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."
Think about this: If you forward this prayer to everyone on your email list, in less than 30 days it would be heard by the world.
How many people in your address book will not receive this prayer.....do you have the guts to pass it on? I just did.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Mental Feng Shui
I received the following message from a friend. It has great words of advice.
"This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. There's some mighty fine advice in these words.
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. "
"This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. There's some mighty fine advice in these words.
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. "
Sunday, April 22, 2007
An Update Regarding The Kenneth Kendrick Memorial
I received the following email from Becky Porter regarding an earlier article of mine relating to the Kenneth Kendrick Memorial shown with this article.
Ms. Porter was kind to share thoughts regarding my article and to highlight some of the many accomplishments of Kenneth Kendrick, a life well lived.
"Hello... My pastor mentioned something today in church that made me think of Kenneth Kendrick. After coming home I decided to look on the internet and see just what I could find out about Kenneth.
I ran across your article about the Kenneth Kendrick Memorial. You mentioned that there must be a story and you wish his monument had said more about his story, and you had wondered why he had died at the age of 43.
I have known Kenneth all my life. We were in kindergarden together. We came from a small town in Georgia, Metter. Kenneth was always different, but very artistic and as intelligent as anyone you have ever met. Anything, and I do mean anything, he did, he did it exceptionally well. He was very talented.
At college he studied art, excelling in all his studies. I believe one of his first careers was in designing logos. He won awards all over the world. He was one of the logoists used to design the new signage for Underground Atlanta when it underwent a huge remodeling . He did art work for Coke cans highlighting the summer Olympics in Montreal (I believe it was Montreal), did posters for Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" drug campaign and many other accomplishments.
The last career he had was as art director of the Sunday magazine of the New York Times. Kenneth knew he was dying, he had AIDS, and he designed his monument that is there in the cemetary in Eldridge, Alabama. I have visited that grave more than once. His companion, Owen, is buried next to him now. He died a year or so later.
I hope I have not bored you but I just felt I should share some of his story. Kenneth was a unique person. Our class will be having our 40th class reunion May 12 and we will miss him.
Becky Porter
Lyons, Georgia"
Ms. Porter, you have honored me with your words humanizing the life of Kenneth Kendrick. I am happy to share your throughts regarding a remarkable life with my readers.
Ms. Porter was kind to share thoughts regarding my article and to highlight some of the many accomplishments of Kenneth Kendrick, a life well lived.
"Hello... My pastor mentioned something today in church that made me think of Kenneth Kendrick. After coming home I decided to look on the internet and see just what I could find out about Kenneth.
I ran across your article about the Kenneth Kendrick Memorial. You mentioned that there must be a story and you wish his monument had said more about his story, and you had wondered why he had died at the age of 43.
I have known Kenneth all my life. We were in kindergarden together. We came from a small town in Georgia, Metter. Kenneth was always different, but very artistic and as intelligent as anyone you have ever met. Anything, and I do mean anything, he did, he did it exceptionally well. He was very talented.
At college he studied art, excelling in all his studies. I believe one of his first careers was in designing logos. He won awards all over the world. He was one of the logoists used to design the new signage for Underground Atlanta when it underwent a huge remodeling . He did art work for Coke cans highlighting the summer Olympics in Montreal (I believe it was Montreal), did posters for Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" drug campaign and many other accomplishments.
The last career he had was as art director of the Sunday magazine of the New York Times. Kenneth knew he was dying, he had AIDS, and he designed his monument that is there in the cemetary in Eldridge, Alabama. I have visited that grave more than once. His companion, Owen, is buried next to him now. He died a year or so later.
I hope I have not bored you but I just felt I should share some of his story. Kenneth was a unique person. Our class will be having our 40th class reunion May 12 and we will miss him.
Becky Porter
Lyons, Georgia"
Ms. Porter, you have honored me with your words humanizing the life of Kenneth Kendrick. I am happy to share your throughts regarding a remarkable life with my readers.
My original article may be read at http://www.valdostamemorials.com/articles/ArticleBalls.asp.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Tel: 229.245.8858
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Tel: 229.245.8858
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Sunday, January 21, 2007
The Future For Memorialization
Tom Roberts, president of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association wrote an informative column in the January 2007 issue of the ICCFA Magazine that caught my attention.
Roberts' column addresses several topics including the increasing role of cremation and the challenges and opportunities for the death-care industry.
Roberts wrote of his recent trip to Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong, China and how he was highly impressed with the high quality products he observed in a country where "cremation is 98% of the market" and cremation rates in the U.S. are increasing annually.
Roberts' column addresses several topics including the increasing role of cremation and the challenges and opportunities for the death-care industry.
Roberts wrote of his recent trip to Beijing, Shanghai and Hong Kong, China and how he was highly impressed with the high quality products he observed in a country where "cremation is 98% of the market" and cremation rates in the U.S. are increasing annually.
We too have been very impressed with the high quality products we have manufactured in China for our clients.
Roberts wrote: "Their Chinese staff have traveled all over the world searching for new concepts to integrate into their properties to "perfect" their brand.Two of the cemeteries we toured, TianShou, Beijing (begun in 1997), and Fu Shou Yuan, Shanghai (begun in 1994), were nothing short of remarkable. The scenic beauty of gardens, fountains, monuments and features, set against a backdrop of mountains and rivers, truly illustrates that there is a future for cremation service and burial."
Gardens, fountains, monuments and scenery are harmonized to create a beautiful environment.
"A funeral house we visited serves 25,000 families per year. It provides a traditional funeral service before the family moves to the cemetery for a committal ceremony and then cremation at a third location. We were very impressed with the personalization demonstrated in their monuments."
Traditional funeral service, committal ceremony and cremation can be tied together in a manner that offers personalization that honors a life.
"Some sections require that each monument be individually designed to reflect the life and accomplishments of the individual. The cemeteries we visited have several design teams and artists available to meet with families for customization. In cities where the average per capita income is less than $8,000, many families choose to expend significant sums on their burial choices. This was not because they were persuaded to do so, but rather because the option was available and they found value and meaning in their selections."
Personalization through design teams should offer significant perceived value to the clients whom we serve.
Roberts wrote: "Their Chinese staff have traveled all over the world searching for new concepts to integrate into their properties to "perfect" their brand.Two of the cemeteries we toured, TianShou, Beijing (begun in 1997), and Fu Shou Yuan, Shanghai (begun in 1994), were nothing short of remarkable. The scenic beauty of gardens, fountains, monuments and features, set against a backdrop of mountains and rivers, truly illustrates that there is a future for cremation service and burial."
Gardens, fountains, monuments and scenery are harmonized to create a beautiful environment.
"A funeral house we visited serves 25,000 families per year. It provides a traditional funeral service before the family moves to the cemetery for a committal ceremony and then cremation at a third location. We were very impressed with the personalization demonstrated in their monuments."
Traditional funeral service, committal ceremony and cremation can be tied together in a manner that offers personalization that honors a life.
"Some sections require that each monument be individually designed to reflect the life and accomplishments of the individual. The cemeteries we visited have several design teams and artists available to meet with families for customization. In cities where the average per capita income is less than $8,000, many families choose to expend significant sums on their burial choices. This was not because they were persuaded to do so, but rather because the option was available and they found value and meaning in their selections."
Personalization through design teams should offer significant perceived value to the clients whom we serve.
I favor cemetery sections dedicated to original creations that reflect the life and accomplishments of individuals who have lived remarkable lives. This concept reminds me of zoning for homes. If you own a million dollar home, you would not want an old dilapidated, poorly maintained trailer next to your majestic beauty. Likewise, cemeteries can be harmonized by proper organization and management.
"In the land of cremation, what we encountered was not direct disposal without meaningful ceremony, but examples of memorialization, love, humanity, cultural recognition, life education and environmental considerations. Jìngzu, ancestor veneration-the honoring of the deeds, sacrifices and memories of the deceased-has a long tradition in China (as well as in some other countries around the world). As our culture moves toward increased cremation, these are concepts we must strive to maintain in what we provide."
"In the land of cremation, what we encountered was not direct disposal without meaningful ceremony, but examples of memorialization, love, humanity, cultural recognition, life education and environmental considerations. Jìngzu, ancestor veneration-the honoring of the deeds, sacrifices and memories of the deceased-has a long tradition in China (as well as in some other countries around the world). As our culture moves toward increased cremation, these are concepts we must strive to maintain in what we provide."
Ancestor veneration is a great idea and one that I advocate with our Life History Plaques (SM). Likewise, "memorialization, love, humanity, cultural recognition, life education and environmental considerations" are important ideas to be considered as part of memorialization.
Roberts astutely recognizes that the public, and not the death-care industry, will decide the future for the industry. The industry is reinventing itself "while embracing universally accepted core values of remembrance, celebration of life and memorialization.
Source: Tom Roberts, CCE, ICCFA president for 2006-2007, is president of Allegheny Cemetery in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. www.alleghenycemetery.com. See http://icfa.org/roberts1.07.htm for Mr. Roberts' article.
Roberts astutely recognizes that the public, and not the death-care industry, will decide the future for the industry. The industry is reinventing itself "while embracing universally accepted core values of remembrance, celebration of life and memorialization.
Source: Tom Roberts, CCE, ICCFA president for 2006-2007, is president of Allegheny Cemetery in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. www.alleghenycemetery.com. See http://icfa.org/roberts1.07.htm for Mr. Roberts' article.
Burton Fletcher
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Listen To Your Friends And Live Within Your Means!
"Helen" was my student during the early 1980s, and like many of my former students, we have maintained a friendship over the years.
Helen and I had a recent conversation that I thought I might share with some of my readers.
Helen and I had a recent conversation that I thought I might share with some of my readers.
Helen is a talented woman, now retired, and living an affluent lifestyle in a city far away from her family and friends of many years.
As will occur as we grow older, Helen has developed some health problems in recent years. Also, she has been living at or above her means for several years.
When Helen consulted me, my advice was to put her finances in order, she could either increase her stream of revenues or reduce her expenses.
Unfortunately, as we age, there are fewer career paths open to us as potential employers refuse to hire us as they are unwilling to carry the financial burden of medical insurance that would not exist with the hiring of a young worker.
Age and other forms of illegal discrimination are pervasive throughout our society. What can I say but, "Life is not fair!"
When Helen consulted me, my advice was to put her finances in order, she could either increase her stream of revenues or reduce her expenses.
Unfortunately, as we age, there are fewer career paths open to us as potential employers refuse to hire us as they are unwilling to carry the financial burden of medical insurance that would not exist with the hiring of a young worker.
Age and other forms of illegal discrimination are pervasive throughout our society. What can I say but, "Life is not fair!"
In reply to my advice, Helen wrote me a thank you note expressing the following:
"Burton, after speaking to you yesterday, I have decided to take your good advice and downsize. As you said, it is always good to get another person's perspective on your problem."
"Starting today, I plan to get the ball rolling towards selling this house and obtaining another in California, for a lot less money and upkeep. Instead of spending my life savings on this house and an expensive lifestyle, I need to be conservative and save for the future."
"Starting today, I plan to get the ball rolling towards selling this house and obtaining another in California, for a lot less money and upkeep. Instead of spending my life savings on this house and an expensive lifestyle, I need to be conservative and save for the future."
"You are right, at my age it is going to be very hard to get the job that I want, so getting my _________ license is the best way to earn an income without all of the hassles of a full time or part time job teaching. I plan to check on a _______ license for California."
"Thanks again for that reality check. I needed that advice to motivate me to take the necessary path that I need to follow to have a more prosperous future."
"I value your friendship. Thanks for being there for me."
"Thanks again for that reality check. I needed that advice to motivate me to take the necessary path that I need to follow to have a more prosperous future."
"I value your friendship. Thanks for being there for me."
Listen to those who care about you and who have valuable advice to share. If my advice is followed, as I expect it will be, my friend will live a longer and happier life.
A closed circle without external inputs perpetuates the same decisions of the past. If you want better results, something has to change to act as a catalyst that will bring about a different outcome in the dynamic world that we live.
Thank you, Helen! I value your friendship because you have been there for me too!
Listen to your friends and live within your means!
Note: I invite my readers to share their opinions and contributions by writing me at Burton@USAMonuments.com. From time to time, I post reader's comments on my blogs. A blog dedicated to the monument industry can be found at www.granitetroll.blogspot.com.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Who Will Write Your Legacy Obituary?
I start this column with the question, "Who will write your obituary?"
If you have lived a noteworthy life, you may be fortunate enough that television, magazines, radio and newspapers will publish the news of your passing with commentary and articles mourning your passing. For most of us, our passing will be only be noted in the obituary we write, provide to the funeral home, and we pay for inclusion in the obituary section of our local newspaper.
If you have lived a meaningful life, one that you are proud of, and one that should inspire your relatives and descendants, perhaps you should give serious consideration to writing your own obituary. Without a permanent record, details of your life will be lost to future generations.
When I was a boy, my older cousin, Thomas Lee "Tommy" Harper lived with our family for two years. After he moved away, we saw each other only occasionally.
If you have lived a noteworthy life, you may be fortunate enough that television, magazines, radio and newspapers will publish the news of your passing with commentary and articles mourning your passing. For most of us, our passing will be only be noted in the obituary we write, provide to the funeral home, and we pay for inclusion in the obituary section of our local newspaper.
If you have lived a meaningful life, one that you are proud of, and one that should inspire your relatives and descendants, perhaps you should give serious consideration to writing your own obituary. Without a permanent record, details of your life will be lost to future generations.
When I was a boy, my older cousin, Thomas Lee "Tommy" Harper lived with our family for two years. After he moved away, we saw each other only occasionally.
Years later, Tommy died as a result of suicide. I have heard bits and pieces of the alleged facts, but the picture as a whole is unknown to me.
Last year, I visited Jacksonville, Florida for the purpose of photographing cemetery monuments and with the goal of visiting Tommy's grave and the graves of other relatives. With advance research and planning, I was able to locate Tommy's grave.
Last year, I visited Jacksonville, Florida for the purpose of photographing cemetery monuments and with the goal of visiting Tommy's grave and the graves of other relatives. With advance research and planning, I was able to locate Tommy's grave.
As the photo shows, it is a simple bronze marker. During the time that Tommy and I lost touch with each other, he had, apparently, served in the U.S. Army. Wow! This detail surprised me.
A clue to Tommy's life I thought! Unfortunately, other than the single clue, "U.S. Army" there is nothing else about Tommy's service in the military of our great country. How long did he serve? What training did he receive? Where was he stationed? Did he serve in Vietnam? What was his rank when he was discharged? Did he earn any medals? I wish a lot more clues had been left for the genealogist in the family.
How many details regarding your life will you leave for your ancestors? Will yours be a life with no more details than those left on your tombstone, or will you have a meaningful legacy obituary that summarizes the meaningful highlights of your life?
A clue to Tommy's life I thought! Unfortunately, other than the single clue, "U.S. Army" there is nothing else about Tommy's service in the military of our great country. How long did he serve? What training did he receive? Where was he stationed? Did he serve in Vietnam? What was his rank when he was discharged? Did he earn any medals? I wish a lot more clues had been left for the genealogist in the family.
How many details regarding your life will you leave for your ancestors? Will yours be a life with no more details than those left on your tombstone, or will you have a meaningful legacy obituary that summarizes the meaningful highlights of your life?
Think about it, but do much more than just thinking; how about taking action now, by making your end-of-life plans with your funeral home.
Write your legacy obituary and give detailed written instructions to your family and to the funeral home regarding your wishes. If you love your family, you should not add to the stressful burden your loss will bring, so be considerate and demonstrate your love for others and take action now. After all, it is the right thing to do.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Write your legacy obituary and give detailed written instructions to your family and to the funeral home regarding your wishes. If you love your family, you should not add to the stressful burden your loss will bring, so be considerate and demonstrate your love for others and take action now. After all, it is the right thing to do.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Genealogy--It's Not Just A Hobby, It's An Adventure!
I read the following tidbit message in an email today: "Genealogy--it's not just a hobby, it's an adventure!"
Think about those words for a moment.
"Genealogy--it's not just a hobby, it's an adventure!"
Yes, genealogy is an adventure! From personal experience, I can tell you that genealogy is very much an exciting pilgrimage to discover our heritage. I can credit, or blame, genealogy for serving as the stimulus to my entry into the monument industry as a memorialist. After traipsing through numerous cemeteries, I formed the opinion that I could improve memorialization, and I have for many families.
Sure, I enjoy setting a goal for myself to locate, visit and photograph the graves of my ancestors. The quest is an enjoyable experience to me. The opportunity to visit locations I would never visit, but for the challenge and adventure of the hunt, adds enjoyment to my life. Yes, genealogy is a rewarding experience.
One of the unfortunate aspects of monument building is the lack of effective story being perpetuated by the death-care industry.
Symbols, alone, will never tell a complete story and are often misinterpreted by those not versed in the study of symbols. The meaning of symbols changes or is forgotten over time. When well written, words are much more likely to communicate effectively generations from now.
Short obituaries, written by the grieving family, and often purposely short to save money in newspaper advertising fees, deny future generations important details, and clues, on the life of an individual. If you have ever had the privilege to read old obituaries, you can appreciate the deficiencies in modern obituaries that are often sanitized to hide the details of an individual's life story.
Likewise, most monuments have few details on the life of the deceased individual. Our Family History Plaques (SM) are a terrific and very economical resource for future generations and they present a treasure trove of information into perpetuity. See, http://www.valdostamemorials.com/LifeHistoryPlaques.asp.
Everyone has a story, but too many of those stories die with the individual and are a heritage lost. Instead of a gold mine, too many relatives discovery only a barren shaft in their search of their family tree.
Preserve your own family history and leave a legacy for the living and those unborn ancestors who will follow us decades and centuries from now. After all, it is the right thing to do!
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Think about those words for a moment.
"Genealogy--it's not just a hobby, it's an adventure!"
Yes, genealogy is an adventure! From personal experience, I can tell you that genealogy is very much an exciting pilgrimage to discover our heritage. I can credit, or blame, genealogy for serving as the stimulus to my entry into the monument industry as a memorialist. After traipsing through numerous cemeteries, I formed the opinion that I could improve memorialization, and I have for many families.
Sure, I enjoy setting a goal for myself to locate, visit and photograph the graves of my ancestors. The quest is an enjoyable experience to me. The opportunity to visit locations I would never visit, but for the challenge and adventure of the hunt, adds enjoyment to my life. Yes, genealogy is a rewarding experience.
One of the unfortunate aspects of monument building is the lack of effective story being perpetuated by the death-care industry.
Symbols, alone, will never tell a complete story and are often misinterpreted by those not versed in the study of symbols. The meaning of symbols changes or is forgotten over time. When well written, words are much more likely to communicate effectively generations from now.
Short obituaries, written by the grieving family, and often purposely short to save money in newspaper advertising fees, deny future generations important details, and clues, on the life of an individual. If you have ever had the privilege to read old obituaries, you can appreciate the deficiencies in modern obituaries that are often sanitized to hide the details of an individual's life story.
Likewise, most monuments have few details on the life of the deceased individual. Our Family History Plaques (SM) are a terrific and very economical resource for future generations and they present a treasure trove of information into perpetuity. See, http://www.valdostamemorials.com/LifeHistoryPlaques.asp.
Everyone has a story, but too many of those stories die with the individual and are a heritage lost. Instead of a gold mine, too many relatives discovery only a barren shaft in their search of their family tree.
Preserve your own family history and leave a legacy for the living and those unborn ancestors who will follow us decades and centuries from now. After all, it is the right thing to do!
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Sunday, January 07, 2007
The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People
Recently, a gentleman on another webpage suggested to another to "get a life." This advice may or may not be accurate, but it is always good to reflect on where you have been, where you are and where your life will be with and without changes in your lifestyle.
Said differently, I always think it is important and useful for everyone to take a look at their life to understand who they are and to compare who they are to who they might prefer to be.
Two thoughts I frequently expressed to my students during a long teaching career follow:
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result.
If you always do, what you have always done, then you will always get, what you have always gotten.
The thoughts express ideas on complacency, change, and the effects between ideas, actions and outcomes. Each is interconnected and is interdependent on the other.
I know of no better book than one I used to teach from back in 2000 when I taught several courses for a private university in Indiana titled, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People," and written by famed author, and public speaker, Stephen R. Covey.
An outline for this book, and a teaser follows. I invite my readers to purchase and take a long look at the different personality centers identified in the back of Mr. Covey's highly popular book on leadership.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
(Stephen Covey)
1. Be Proactive
"Taking initiative does not mean being pushy, obnoxious, or aggressive. It does mean recognizing our responsibility to make things happen."
2. Begin With the End in Mind
"(This habit)...is based on imagination-- the ability to envision, to see the potential, to create with our minds what we cannot at present see with our eyes..."
3. Put First Things First
"Create a clear, mutual understanding of what needs to be accomplished, focusing on what, not how; results not methods. Spend time. Be patient. Visualize the desired result."
4. Think Win-Win
"Win-Win is a frame of mind that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying."
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
"'Seek First to Understand' involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people's lives."
6. Synergize
"Synergy works; it's a correct principle. It is the crowning achievement of all the previous habits. It is effectiveness in an interdependent reality-- it is teamwork, team building, the
development of unity and creativity with other human beings."
7. Sharpening the Saw
"This is the habit of renewal...It circles and embodies all the other habits. It is the habit of continuous improvement...that lifts you to new levels of understanding and living each of the habits."
The following pages are from http://www.franklincovey.com/foryou/articles/seven.html
Stephen R. Covey
November 1991
I see seven unique human endowments or capabilities associated with The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
One way to revisit The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is to identify the unique human capability or endowment associated with each habit.
Those associated with Habits 1,2 and 3 are primary human endowments. And if those endowments are well exercised, secondary endowments are bequeathed to the person through the exercise of Habits 4, 5 and 6. And the endowment associated with Habit 7 renew the process of growth and development.
Primary Endowments
The primary human endowments are 1) self-awareness or self-knowledge; 2) imagination and conscience; and 3) volition or will power. And the secondary endowments are 4) an abundance mentality; 5) courage and consideration; and 6) creativity. The seventh endowment is self-renewal. These are all unique human endowments; animals don't possess any of them. But, they are all on a continuum of low to high levels.
Associated with Habit 1:
Be Proactive is the endowment of self-knowledge or self-awareness an ability to choose your response (response-ability). At the low end of the continuum are the ineffective people who transfer responsibility by blaming themselves or others or their environment anything or anybody "out there" so that they are not responsible for results. If I blame you, in effect I have empowered you. I have given my power to your weakness. Then I can create evidence that supports my perception that you are the problem.
At the upper end of the continuum toward increasing effectiveness is self-awareness: "I know my tendencies; I know the scripts or programs that are in me; but I am not those scripts. I can rewrite my scripts." You are aware that you are the creative force of your life.You are not the victim of conditions or conditioning. You can choose your response to any situation, to any person. Between what happens to you and your response is a degree of freedom. And the more you exercise that freedom, the larger it will become.
As you work in your circle of influence and exercise that freedom, gradually you will stop being a "hot reactor" (meaning there's little separation between stimulus and response) and start being a cool, responsible chooser no matter what your genetic make-up may be, no matter how you were raised, no matter what your childhood experiences were, or what the environment is. In your freedom to choose your response lies the power to achieve growth and happiness.
Imagine what might happen if you could get every person inside a company to willingly act on the belief: "Quality begins with me. And I need to make my own decisions based on carefully selected principles and values." Proactivity cultivates this freedom. It subordinates your feelings to your values. You accept your feelings, "I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm upset. I accept those feelings; I don't deny or repress them. Now I know what needs to be done. I am responsible." That's the principle: "I am response-able."
So on the continuum, you go from being a victim to self -determining creative power through self-awareness of the power to choose your respons to any condition or conditioning.
Associated with Habit 2:
Begin With the End In Mind is the endowment of imagination and conscience. If you are the programmer, write the program. Decide what you're going to do with the time, talent, and tools you have to work with: "Within my small circle of influence, I'm going to decide."
At the low end of the continuum is the sense of futility about goals, purposes, and improvement efforts. After all, if you are totally a victim, if you are a product of what has happened to you, then what can you realistically do about anything? So you wander through life hoping things will turn out well, that the environment may be positive, so you can have your daily bread and maybe some positive fruits.
At the other end is a sense of hope and purpose: "I have created the future in my mind. I can see it, and I can imagine what it will be like." Animals can't do that. They may instinctively gather nuts for the winter, but they can't create a nut-making machine, nor do they ask the question, "Why do I do nuts? Why don't I get someone else to gather nuts for me?" Only humans examine such questions.
Only people have the capability to imagine a new course of action and pursue it conscientiously.
Why conscience? Because to be highly effective, your conscience must monitor all that you imagine, envision, and engineer. Those who attempt to exercise creativity without conscience inevitably create the unconscionable.
Or, at the very least, they exchange their creative talents for "canned goods," using their creativity their applied imagination and visual affirmations to win material things or social rewards. And then they become hopelessly imbalanced. They may speak the lines of the life balance script, but in reality their constitutions are written on the fleshy tablets of their spleen.
It is reaffirming to me to see that winners of the Academy Awards, for the most part, exhibit creativity with conscience. For example, Kevin Costner's Dances with Wolves made a beautiful statement about native Americans. The Academy knows that the film industry has enormous influence, and with that creative power must come conscientious social responsibility.
Practice using these two unique human capacities: First, see yourself going to the office this afternoon, or home tonight, and finding it in a terrible situation. The house is a total disaster. No one has done his or her job; all the commitments made have been unfulfilled. And you're tired and beat up.
Now, imagine, yourself responding to that reality in a mature, wise, self-controlled manner. See the effect that has on someone else.
You didn't confess their sins. You started to pitch in. You were cheerful, helpful, pleasant. And your behavior will prick the conscience of others and allow the consequences agreed upon to happen.
You just used two unique human capacities: imagination and conscience. You didn't rely on memory; if you had relied on memory or history, you might have lost your cool, made judgments of other people and exacerbated conditions.
Memory is built into your past responses to the same or similar stimuli. Memory ties you to your past. Imagination points you to your future. Your potential is unlimited, but to potentiate is to actualize your capabilities no matter what the conditions are.
In the book Man's Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany in World War II, tells how he exercised the power to choose his response to his terrible conditions.
One day, he was subjected to experiments on his body. And he discovered, "I have the power to choose." And he looked for meaning. He believed that if you have a meaning (purpose or cause), if you have a why, you can live with any what. The development of his professional life came out of that one insight. He was raised in the Freudian tradition of psychic determinism.
He learned it was a lie. It wasn't based on science. It came from the study of sick people neurotics and psychotics not from the study of healthy, creative, effective people. He didn't go to his memory; he went to his imagination and conscience. You, too, can progress along the continuum from futility and old habits to faith, hope, and inner security through the exercise of conscience and imagination.
Associated with Habit 3:
Put First Things First is the endowment of willpower. At the low end of the continuum is the ineffective, flaky life of floating and coasting, avoiding responsibility and taking the easy way out, exercising little initiative or willpower. And at the top end is a highly disciplined life that focuses heavily on the highly important but not necessarily urgent activities of life. It's a life of leverage and influence.
You go from victim to creative resource, from futility to hope and anchorage, and from flaky to disciplined Habits 1, 2 and 3. One draws on self-awareness or self-knowledge; two draws on conscience and imagination; and three draws on willpower.
These are unique human endowments that animals don't possess. On the continuum, you go from being driven by crises and having can't and won't power to being focused on the important but not necessarily urgent matters of your life and having the will power to realize them. From Primary to Secondary
Endowments
The exercise of primary human endowments empowers you to use the secondary endowments more effectively.
Associated with Habit 4:
Think Win-Win is the endowment of an abundance mentality. Why? Because your security comes from principles. Everything is seen through principles. When your wife makes a mistake, you're not accusatory. Why? Your security does not come from your wife living up to your expectations. If your son, your husband, your friend, or your boss makes a mistake, you don't become accusatory, you look with compassion. Why? Your security does not come from them. It comes from within yourself. You're principle-centered.
As people become increasingly principle-centered, they love to share recognition and power. Why? It's not a limited pie. It's an ever-enlarging pie. The basic paradigm and assumption about limited resources is flawed. The great capabilities of people are hardly even tapped. The abundance mentality produces more profit, power, and recognition for everybody.
On the continuum, you go from a scarcity to an abundance mentality through feelings of intrinsic self-worth and a benevolent desire for mutual benefit.
Associated with Habit 5:
Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood is the endowment of courage balanced with consideration. Does it take courage and consideration to not be understood first? Think about it. Think about the problems you face. You tend to think, "You need to understand me, but you don't understand. I understand you, but you don't understand me. So let me tell you my story first, and then you can say what you want."
And the other person says, "Okay, I'll try to understand." But the whole time they're "listening," they're preparing their reply. They are just pretending to listen, selective listening. When you show your home movies or tell some chapter of you autobiography "let me tell you my experience" the other person is tuned out unless he feels understood.
What happens when you truly listen to another person? The whole relationship is transformed: "Someone started listening to me and they seemed to savor my words. They didn't agree or disagree, they just were listening and I felt as if they were seeing how I saw the world. And in that process, I found myself listening to myself. I started to feel a worth in myself."
The root cause of almost all people problems is the basic communication problem people do not listen with empathy. They listen from within their autobiography. They lack the skill and attitude of empathy. They need approval; they lack courage. Within their frame of reference, they say, "What can I do to please that person. He has this high need for control. Wait a minute, I'm the manager in control. I didn't come to listen I came to tell. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you." The ability to listen first requires restraint, respect, and reverence. And the ability to make yourself understood requires courage and consideration. On the continuum, you go from fight and flight instincts to mature two-way communication where courage is balanced with consideration.
Associated with Habit 6:
Synergize is the endowment of creativity the creation of something. How? By yourself? No, through two respectful minds communicating, producing solutions that are far better than what either originally proposed. Most negotiation is positional bargaining and results at best in compromise. But when you get into synergistic communication, you leave position. You understand basic underlying needs and interests and find solutions to satisfy them both.
Two Harvard professors, Roger Fisher and William Ury, in their book Getting to Yes outline a whole new approach to negotiation.
Instead of assuming two opposing positions "I want that window open." "No, closed." "No, open." with occasional compromise half open half the time they saw the possibility of synergy. "Why do you want it open?" "Well, I like the fresh air." "Why do you want it closed?" "I don't like the draft." "What can we do that would give the fresh air without the draft."
Now, two creative people who have respect for each other and who understand each other's needs might say, "Let's open the window in the next room. Let's rearrange the furniture. Let's open the top part of the window. Let's turn on the air conditioning."
They seek new alternatives because they are not defending positions. Whenever there's a difference, say, "Let's go for a synergistic win-win. Let's listen to each other. What is your need?" "Well, I'm in just the mood for this kind of a movie. What would you like?"
Maybe you can find a movie or some other activity that would satisfy both. And you get people thinking. And if you get the spirit of teamwork, you start to build a very powerful bond, an emotional bank account, and people are willing to subordinate their immediate wants for long-term relationships.
One of the most important commitments in a family or a business is never to badmouth. Always be loyal to those who are absent if you want to retain those who are present. And if you have problems, you go directly to the person to resolve them. If you refuse to badmouth someone behind their back to another person, what does that person know. When somebody badmouths him behind his back, you won't join in.
For example, during times of death, divorce, and remarriages, there are typically many strained feelings in families over the settlements. Family members who feel slighted or cheated often say nasty things about other family members. Think how much pain and anguish might be spared if members of the family would adhere to two basic principles: 1) People and relationships in our family are more important than things (people on their death bed never talk about spending more time at the office they talk about relationships); and 2) When we have any difficulty or difference, we will go directly to the person. We are responsible for our own attitudes and behaviors, and we can choose our responses to this circumstance.
With courage and consideration, we will communicate openly with each other and try to create win-win solutions. On the continuum, you go from defensive communication to compromise transactions to synergistic and creative alternatives and transformations.
Associated with Habit 7:
Sharpen the Saw is the unique endowment of continuous improvement or self-renewal to overcome entropy. If you don't constantly improve and renew yourself, you'll fall into entropy, closed systems and styles. At one end of the continuum is entropy (everything breaks down), and the other end is continuous improvement, innovation, and refinement. On the continuum, you go from a condition of entropy to a condition of continuous renewal, improvement, innovation, and refinement.
My hope in revisiting the Seven Habits is that you will use the seven unique human endowments associated with them to bless and benefit the lives of many other people.
© 1996, 1998 Covey Leadership Center and FranklinCovey. All rights reserved. Copyright 2004 FranklinCovey 1-800-819-1812.
Said differently, I always think it is important and useful for everyone to take a look at their life to understand who they are and to compare who they are to who they might prefer to be.
Two thoughts I frequently expressed to my students during a long teaching career follow:
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result.
If you always do, what you have always done, then you will always get, what you have always gotten.
The thoughts express ideas on complacency, change, and the effects between ideas, actions and outcomes. Each is interconnected and is interdependent on the other.
I know of no better book than one I used to teach from back in 2000 when I taught several courses for a private university in Indiana titled, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People," and written by famed author, and public speaker, Stephen R. Covey.
An outline for this book, and a teaser follows. I invite my readers to purchase and take a long look at the different personality centers identified in the back of Mr. Covey's highly popular book on leadership.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
(Stephen Covey)
1. Be Proactive
"Taking initiative does not mean being pushy, obnoxious, or aggressive. It does mean recognizing our responsibility to make things happen."
2. Begin With the End in Mind
"(This habit)...is based on imagination-- the ability to envision, to see the potential, to create with our minds what we cannot at present see with our eyes..."
3. Put First Things First
"Create a clear, mutual understanding of what needs to be accomplished, focusing on what, not how; results not methods. Spend time. Be patient. Visualize the desired result."
4. Think Win-Win
"Win-Win is a frame of mind that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying."
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
"'Seek First to Understand' involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people's lives."
6. Synergize
"Synergy works; it's a correct principle. It is the crowning achievement of all the previous habits. It is effectiveness in an interdependent reality-- it is teamwork, team building, the
development of unity and creativity with other human beings."
7. Sharpening the Saw
"This is the habit of renewal...It circles and embodies all the other habits. It is the habit of continuous improvement...that lifts you to new levels of understanding and living each of the habits."
The following pages are from http://www.franklincovey.com/foryou/articles/seven.html
Stephen R. Covey
November 1991
I see seven unique human endowments or capabilities associated with The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
One way to revisit The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is to identify the unique human capability or endowment associated with each habit.
Those associated with Habits 1,2 and 3 are primary human endowments. And if those endowments are well exercised, secondary endowments are bequeathed to the person through the exercise of Habits 4, 5 and 6. And the endowment associated with Habit 7 renew the process of growth and development.
Primary Endowments
The primary human endowments are 1) self-awareness or self-knowledge; 2) imagination and conscience; and 3) volition or will power. And the secondary endowments are 4) an abundance mentality; 5) courage and consideration; and 6) creativity. The seventh endowment is self-renewal. These are all unique human endowments; animals don't possess any of them. But, they are all on a continuum of low to high levels.
Associated with Habit 1:
Be Proactive is the endowment of self-knowledge or self-awareness an ability to choose your response (response-ability). At the low end of the continuum are the ineffective people who transfer responsibility by blaming themselves or others or their environment anything or anybody "out there" so that they are not responsible for results. If I blame you, in effect I have empowered you. I have given my power to your weakness. Then I can create evidence that supports my perception that you are the problem.
At the upper end of the continuum toward increasing effectiveness is self-awareness: "I know my tendencies; I know the scripts or programs that are in me; but I am not those scripts. I can rewrite my scripts." You are aware that you are the creative force of your life.You are not the victim of conditions or conditioning. You can choose your response to any situation, to any person. Between what happens to you and your response is a degree of freedom. And the more you exercise that freedom, the larger it will become.
As you work in your circle of influence and exercise that freedom, gradually you will stop being a "hot reactor" (meaning there's little separation between stimulus and response) and start being a cool, responsible chooser no matter what your genetic make-up may be, no matter how you were raised, no matter what your childhood experiences were, or what the environment is. In your freedom to choose your response lies the power to achieve growth and happiness.
Imagine what might happen if you could get every person inside a company to willingly act on the belief: "Quality begins with me. And I need to make my own decisions based on carefully selected principles and values." Proactivity cultivates this freedom. It subordinates your feelings to your values. You accept your feelings, "I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm upset. I accept those feelings; I don't deny or repress them. Now I know what needs to be done. I am responsible." That's the principle: "I am response-able."
So on the continuum, you go from being a victim to self -determining creative power through self-awareness of the power to choose your respons to any condition or conditioning.
Associated with Habit 2:
Begin With the End In Mind is the endowment of imagination and conscience. If you are the programmer, write the program. Decide what you're going to do with the time, talent, and tools you have to work with: "Within my small circle of influence, I'm going to decide."
At the low end of the continuum is the sense of futility about goals, purposes, and improvement efforts. After all, if you are totally a victim, if you are a product of what has happened to you, then what can you realistically do about anything? So you wander through life hoping things will turn out well, that the environment may be positive, so you can have your daily bread and maybe some positive fruits.
At the other end is a sense of hope and purpose: "I have created the future in my mind. I can see it, and I can imagine what it will be like." Animals can't do that. They may instinctively gather nuts for the winter, but they can't create a nut-making machine, nor do they ask the question, "Why do I do nuts? Why don't I get someone else to gather nuts for me?" Only humans examine such questions.
Only people have the capability to imagine a new course of action and pursue it conscientiously.
Why conscience? Because to be highly effective, your conscience must monitor all that you imagine, envision, and engineer. Those who attempt to exercise creativity without conscience inevitably create the unconscionable.
Or, at the very least, they exchange their creative talents for "canned goods," using their creativity their applied imagination and visual affirmations to win material things or social rewards. And then they become hopelessly imbalanced. They may speak the lines of the life balance script, but in reality their constitutions are written on the fleshy tablets of their spleen.
It is reaffirming to me to see that winners of the Academy Awards, for the most part, exhibit creativity with conscience. For example, Kevin Costner's Dances with Wolves made a beautiful statement about native Americans. The Academy knows that the film industry has enormous influence, and with that creative power must come conscientious social responsibility.
Practice using these two unique human capacities: First, see yourself going to the office this afternoon, or home tonight, and finding it in a terrible situation. The house is a total disaster. No one has done his or her job; all the commitments made have been unfulfilled. And you're tired and beat up.
Now, imagine, yourself responding to that reality in a mature, wise, self-controlled manner. See the effect that has on someone else.
You didn't confess their sins. You started to pitch in. You were cheerful, helpful, pleasant. And your behavior will prick the conscience of others and allow the consequences agreed upon to happen.
You just used two unique human capacities: imagination and conscience. You didn't rely on memory; if you had relied on memory or history, you might have lost your cool, made judgments of other people and exacerbated conditions.
Memory is built into your past responses to the same or similar stimuli. Memory ties you to your past. Imagination points you to your future. Your potential is unlimited, but to potentiate is to actualize your capabilities no matter what the conditions are.
In the book Man's Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany in World War II, tells how he exercised the power to choose his response to his terrible conditions.
One day, he was subjected to experiments on his body. And he discovered, "I have the power to choose." And he looked for meaning. He believed that if you have a meaning (purpose or cause), if you have a why, you can live with any what. The development of his professional life came out of that one insight. He was raised in the Freudian tradition of psychic determinism.
He learned it was a lie. It wasn't based on science. It came from the study of sick people neurotics and psychotics not from the study of healthy, creative, effective people. He didn't go to his memory; he went to his imagination and conscience. You, too, can progress along the continuum from futility and old habits to faith, hope, and inner security through the exercise of conscience and imagination.
Associated with Habit 3:
Put First Things First is the endowment of willpower. At the low end of the continuum is the ineffective, flaky life of floating and coasting, avoiding responsibility and taking the easy way out, exercising little initiative or willpower. And at the top end is a highly disciplined life that focuses heavily on the highly important but not necessarily urgent activities of life. It's a life of leverage and influence.
You go from victim to creative resource, from futility to hope and anchorage, and from flaky to disciplined Habits 1, 2 and 3. One draws on self-awareness or self-knowledge; two draws on conscience and imagination; and three draws on willpower.
These are unique human endowments that animals don't possess. On the continuum, you go from being driven by crises and having can't and won't power to being focused on the important but not necessarily urgent matters of your life and having the will power to realize them. From Primary to Secondary
Endowments
The exercise of primary human endowments empowers you to use the secondary endowments more effectively.
Associated with Habit 4:
Think Win-Win is the endowment of an abundance mentality. Why? Because your security comes from principles. Everything is seen through principles. When your wife makes a mistake, you're not accusatory. Why? Your security does not come from your wife living up to your expectations. If your son, your husband, your friend, or your boss makes a mistake, you don't become accusatory, you look with compassion. Why? Your security does not come from them. It comes from within yourself. You're principle-centered.
As people become increasingly principle-centered, they love to share recognition and power. Why? It's not a limited pie. It's an ever-enlarging pie. The basic paradigm and assumption about limited resources is flawed. The great capabilities of people are hardly even tapped. The abundance mentality produces more profit, power, and recognition for everybody.
On the continuum, you go from a scarcity to an abundance mentality through feelings of intrinsic self-worth and a benevolent desire for mutual benefit.
Associated with Habit 5:
Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood is the endowment of courage balanced with consideration. Does it take courage and consideration to not be understood first? Think about it. Think about the problems you face. You tend to think, "You need to understand me, but you don't understand. I understand you, but you don't understand me. So let me tell you my story first, and then you can say what you want."
And the other person says, "Okay, I'll try to understand." But the whole time they're "listening," they're preparing their reply. They are just pretending to listen, selective listening. When you show your home movies or tell some chapter of you autobiography "let me tell you my experience" the other person is tuned out unless he feels understood.
What happens when you truly listen to another person? The whole relationship is transformed: "Someone started listening to me and they seemed to savor my words. They didn't agree or disagree, they just were listening and I felt as if they were seeing how I saw the world. And in that process, I found myself listening to myself. I started to feel a worth in myself."
The root cause of almost all people problems is the basic communication problem people do not listen with empathy. They listen from within their autobiography. They lack the skill and attitude of empathy. They need approval; they lack courage. Within their frame of reference, they say, "What can I do to please that person. He has this high need for control. Wait a minute, I'm the manager in control. I didn't come to listen I came to tell. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you." The ability to listen first requires restraint, respect, and reverence. And the ability to make yourself understood requires courage and consideration. On the continuum, you go from fight and flight instincts to mature two-way communication where courage is balanced with consideration.
Associated with Habit 6:
Synergize is the endowment of creativity the creation of something. How? By yourself? No, through two respectful minds communicating, producing solutions that are far better than what either originally proposed. Most negotiation is positional bargaining and results at best in compromise. But when you get into synergistic communication, you leave position. You understand basic underlying needs and interests and find solutions to satisfy them both.
Two Harvard professors, Roger Fisher and William Ury, in their book Getting to Yes outline a whole new approach to negotiation.
Instead of assuming two opposing positions "I want that window open." "No, closed." "No, open." with occasional compromise half open half the time they saw the possibility of synergy. "Why do you want it open?" "Well, I like the fresh air." "Why do you want it closed?" "I don't like the draft." "What can we do that would give the fresh air without the draft."
Now, two creative people who have respect for each other and who understand each other's needs might say, "Let's open the window in the next room. Let's rearrange the furniture. Let's open the top part of the window. Let's turn on the air conditioning."
They seek new alternatives because they are not defending positions. Whenever there's a difference, say, "Let's go for a synergistic win-win. Let's listen to each other. What is your need?" "Well, I'm in just the mood for this kind of a movie. What would you like?"
Maybe you can find a movie or some other activity that would satisfy both. And you get people thinking. And if you get the spirit of teamwork, you start to build a very powerful bond, an emotional bank account, and people are willing to subordinate their immediate wants for long-term relationships.
One of the most important commitments in a family or a business is never to badmouth. Always be loyal to those who are absent if you want to retain those who are present. And if you have problems, you go directly to the person to resolve them. If you refuse to badmouth someone behind their back to another person, what does that person know. When somebody badmouths him behind his back, you won't join in.
For example, during times of death, divorce, and remarriages, there are typically many strained feelings in families over the settlements. Family members who feel slighted or cheated often say nasty things about other family members. Think how much pain and anguish might be spared if members of the family would adhere to two basic principles: 1) People and relationships in our family are more important than things (people on their death bed never talk about spending more time at the office they talk about relationships); and 2) When we have any difficulty or difference, we will go directly to the person. We are responsible for our own attitudes and behaviors, and we can choose our responses to this circumstance.
With courage and consideration, we will communicate openly with each other and try to create win-win solutions. On the continuum, you go from defensive communication to compromise transactions to synergistic and creative alternatives and transformations.
Associated with Habit 7:
Sharpen the Saw is the unique endowment of continuous improvement or self-renewal to overcome entropy. If you don't constantly improve and renew yourself, you'll fall into entropy, closed systems and styles. At one end of the continuum is entropy (everything breaks down), and the other end is continuous improvement, innovation, and refinement. On the continuum, you go from a condition of entropy to a condition of continuous renewal, improvement, innovation, and refinement.
My hope in revisiting the Seven Habits is that you will use the seven unique human endowments associated with them to bless and benefit the lives of many other people.
© 1996, 1998 Covey Leadership Center and FranklinCovey. All rights reserved. Copyright 2004 FranklinCovey 1-800-819-1812.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
The Student Gives Great AdviceTo His Former Professor!
I have the good fortune to maintain contacts with previous students from a previous long career in education. I received the following message from a gentleman who was a student of mine more than 20 years ago. I hope you will agree that the student has shared great advice with his former professor.
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. "
Anonymous
Share with others the wisdom contained within these insightful and beautiful words. Take time to smell the roses through this journey we call life.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. "
Anonymous
Share with others the wisdom contained within these insightful and beautiful words. Take time to smell the roses through this journey we call life.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Is Your Monument Builder Truly Creative?
I ask the question, "Is your monument builder truly creative?" because I believe a lot of monument companies are not. Obviously, some are very creative, but too many are luke warm sellers.
I read a comment from Bill Bates concerning the funeral industry that I have modified to apply to the monument industry.
"So many [monument companies] are afraid to risk rejection or to look foolish that they stifle their creativity. In so doing they sell out for a luke warm career when their work in [monument] service could be exciting. They miss making as healing, dynamic and creative contributions to others that they could. If I can say any one thing to the young people in [the monument industry] it would be, “your creativity is yours, it is inside of you and no one else. If you don’t connect with it and offer it, every one loses.”
Bill is right about his opinions of the funeral industry and I am right about my opinions regarding the monument industry.
Well constructed monuments facilitate healing, and family pride, but too many monuments are "me too" boring products that offer very little to memorialization.
Use your creativity and passion to educate clients on the possibilities for the creation of legacy memorials.
No one should enter a field seeking "a luke warm career." You owe your clients your imagination.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
I read a comment from Bill Bates concerning the funeral industry that I have modified to apply to the monument industry.
"So many [monument companies] are afraid to risk rejection or to look foolish that they stifle their creativity. In so doing they sell out for a luke warm career when their work in [monument] service could be exciting. They miss making as healing, dynamic and creative contributions to others that they could. If I can say any one thing to the young people in [the monument industry] it would be, “your creativity is yours, it is inside of you and no one else. If you don’t connect with it and offer it, every one loses.”
Bill is right about his opinions of the funeral industry and I am right about my opinions regarding the monument industry.
Well constructed monuments facilitate healing, and family pride, but too many monuments are "me too" boring products that offer very little to memorialization.
Use your creativity and passion to educate clients on the possibilities for the creation of legacy memorials.
No one should enter a field seeking "a luke warm career." You owe your clients your imagination.
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Monday, January 01, 2007
Support Our Military/Damn The Politicians/"In Flanders Fields"
If you have read my other posts, you know I am an unabashed memorialist, which is quite different from a monument builder.
I read an article today regarding the Marines in Iraq and how the Marines have lost so many of their comrades that they have learned much about the ceremony of burial.
One reference within the article I read, was published by the Los Angeles Times. See, http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/frontline/2006/12/saying_farewell.html. "Saying Farewell" is a well-written post that I enjoyed greatly.
It references the famous poem, "In Flanders Fields." See, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Flanders_Fields.
Our good men and women are being sacrificed in a war that we should never have fought. Support our military, but damn the politicians that got us into an unjust war!
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
I read an article today regarding the Marines in Iraq and how the Marines have lost so many of their comrades that they have learned much about the ceremony of burial.
One reference within the article I read, was published by the Los Angeles Times. See, http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/frontline/2006/12/saying_farewell.html. "Saying Farewell" is a well-written post that I enjoyed greatly.
It references the famous poem, "In Flanders Fields." See, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Flanders_Fields.
Our good men and women are being sacrificed in a war that we should never have fought. Support our military, but damn the politicians that got us into an unjust war!
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
New Blog, The Granite Troll
There is a new blog that we want to share with those in the monument industry. It is called The Granite Troll and it has the purpose of making fun of folks within the monument industry.
See http://www.granitetroll.blogspot.com/ and share your thoughts with The Granite Troll.
See http://www.granitetroll.blogspot.com/ and share your thoughts with The Granite Troll.
Are Internet-Based Monument Companies Naturally More Creative?
As reflected in the title to this article, I pose my question as it reflects a discussion that needs to be had within the death-care industry relating to creativity. I have long argued that the monument industry has not been creative enough, preferring instead to earn a quick buck at the expense of creating a legacy memorial for their clients. This lack of creativity has filled cemeteries with “me-too” monuments that are boring and unattractive.
Bill Bates, the President of a death-care industry training program for funeral homes sent me an email titled, “On Becoming Creative.” Bill is a leader in creativity in the death-care industry so his words should receive rapt attention.
“Words can be powerful; especially the words that make up loving eulogies and the ones we use to honor others, yet words are but symbols of symbols, thus twice removed from truly effective communication. If words only, form the bases of funeral ceremonies, which they have in the American funeral, they of their nature must fail to fully capture the essence of an individual beyond the material facts and figures of his or her life. The fact that an individual graduated from college, had a dynamic and successful career, was married, a father and grandfather and retired says little about his heart, his victories and defeats, his courage in the face of adversity.”
“The ability to creatively demonstrate each individual’s accomplishments, religious, spiritual or philosophically perspectives and relationships form the basis or foundation of good funerals. They give meaning to the word personalization or interactive funeral ceremony.”
“Creative ceremonies go beyond the use of words to tell a story and communicate the meaning of a life. Some level of creativity is required to symbolize such things as goodness, integrity, love, kindness, tenacity, courage and all of the stuff we value about being human that lies beneath the activity of a life. A picture truly becomes worth a 1000 words when we can show the beauty in loving relationships through participation or when we can creatively demonstrate the characteristics that others loved in the deceased. Our ability to paint the picture energizes the experience and moves family and friends, impacting their perception of value in the experience.”
Bill gets it! He understands something very important that a lot of funeral homes and monument companies have failed to understand and express through their work. As a whole, the monument industry has not been as creative as it could or should have been as many folks entered the industry as mediocre tradesmen, lacking in big-picture creativity or communication skills to truly educate the consumer.
Thanks to online retailers, such as http://www.usamonuments.com/, traditional monument companies are crawling slowly toward the Internet scene as consumers are demanding the shop-from-home convenience and creativity that the Internet-based memorialist offers.
If a company is creative on the Internet, then they are more likely to be creative in memorializing a loved one’s legacy.
If you want to purchase a mediocre monument, it really doesn’t matter as much where you purchase, and price alone may be the primary focus of your commodity purchase.
However, if you want an heirloom memorial, look at the creativity of the memorialist and you are more likely to achieve something special in memorilizing yourself through a preneed purchase, or in memorializing a loved one.
Remember, Bill gets it! I hope you do too!
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Bill Bates, the President of a death-care industry training program for funeral homes sent me an email titled, “On Becoming Creative.” Bill is a leader in creativity in the death-care industry so his words should receive rapt attention.
“Words can be powerful; especially the words that make up loving eulogies and the ones we use to honor others, yet words are but symbols of symbols, thus twice removed from truly effective communication. If words only, form the bases of funeral ceremonies, which they have in the American funeral, they of their nature must fail to fully capture the essence of an individual beyond the material facts and figures of his or her life. The fact that an individual graduated from college, had a dynamic and successful career, was married, a father and grandfather and retired says little about his heart, his victories and defeats, his courage in the face of adversity.”
“The ability to creatively demonstrate each individual’s accomplishments, religious, spiritual or philosophically perspectives and relationships form the basis or foundation of good funerals. They give meaning to the word personalization or interactive funeral ceremony.”
“Creative ceremonies go beyond the use of words to tell a story and communicate the meaning of a life. Some level of creativity is required to symbolize such things as goodness, integrity, love, kindness, tenacity, courage and all of the stuff we value about being human that lies beneath the activity of a life. A picture truly becomes worth a 1000 words when we can show the beauty in loving relationships through participation or when we can creatively demonstrate the characteristics that others loved in the deceased. Our ability to paint the picture energizes the experience and moves family and friends, impacting their perception of value in the experience.”
Bill gets it! He understands something very important that a lot of funeral homes and monument companies have failed to understand and express through their work. As a whole, the monument industry has not been as creative as it could or should have been as many folks entered the industry as mediocre tradesmen, lacking in big-picture creativity or communication skills to truly educate the consumer.
Thanks to online retailers, such as http://www.usamonuments.com/, traditional monument companies are crawling slowly toward the Internet scene as consumers are demanding the shop-from-home convenience and creativity that the Internet-based memorialist offers.
If a company is creative on the Internet, then they are more likely to be creative in memorializing a loved one’s legacy.
If you want to purchase a mediocre monument, it really doesn’t matter as much where you purchase, and price alone may be the primary focus of your commodity purchase.
However, if you want an heirloom memorial, look at the creativity of the memorialist and you are more likely to achieve something special in memorilizing yourself through a preneed purchase, or in memorializing a loved one.
Remember, Bill gets it! I hope you do too!
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Local Monument Companies Are Defensive Regarding Online Competition
In reply to my thoughts on the impact of online competition on the local monument company, an individual who I will call Mr. Monroe, wrote his opinions that demonstrate the defensiveness of local monument companies in regard to online competition such as www.USAMonuments.com.
“It's not like shopping for a brand name product with a model number that is exactly the same no matter where it’s purchased from. You can even shop for a car much easier than you can for a monument.”
Actually, more and more auto dealers are using the Internet to provide prospective purchasers shop-from-home convenience. Consumers often shop locally and then purchase online or vice versa. There is plenty of business for different channels of distribution.
If a company has a high-quality Internet site, there is a high probability that the consumer will be satisfied with the final memorial product. Conversely, if a local monument company operates out of a shack, with a display of "me-too," same color samples and boring designs, and without a high-quality website, then there is a high probability that the consumer will not have a superior heirloom memorial when manufacturing is completed. Buyer beware!
“With so many varying degrees of workmanship not to mention the different names being used like *classic gray* that could mislead a consumer into thinking it's that common *Barre gray* seen throughout his cemetery until he notices that his gray is holding moisture and always looks damp with dark spots.”
Numerous online photos and granite samples are used by online sellers to effectively communicate to purchasers what they are buying. No responsible local or Internet-based company wants consumer complaints and no responsible company is going to intentionally mislead a consumer. We have numerous satisfied clients with a sampling of our wide variety of products shown on our website.
If anything, online sellers work harder to develop relationships as they do not have in-your-pocket relationships with local funeral homes who often receive kickbacks from monument companies. Online monument companies work independently of these home-town practices that cause prices to be higher than necessary.
Communication is critical and online marketing, if used wisely, is an excellent communication tool. Our company serves local, national and international markets that clue us into upcoming trends in other markets.
“I set a granite marker for an online company (I won't do it again) and the marker was Georgia gray with a flat carving filled with black litho. She told me she shopped around and the local companies were more expensive. I said to her they probably wouldn't have been more expensive if they understood what they were quoting against. You thought you saved money, but this online company cut corners to save itself money and appear more competitive. It wasn't an apples vs. apples comparison. To me, shopping online for a monument is much like opening a box of Cracker Jacks - you never know what you are going to get.”
Mr. Monroe, you won’t receive an argument from me regarding the importance of comparison shopping. Poor workmanship is not unique to any one facet of the industry; however, you overstate your case by comparing online sellers to opening a box of Cracker Jacks.
If you were truly consumer focused, you would install monuments for out-of-state companies as that would best serve the needs of the folks whom you serve. You are in a service industry and you should never forget that important fact.
Actually, high-quality online sellers provide detailed designs before manufacture, and photos of the finished product before the manufactured goods are shipped, so the consumer is assured of satisfaction before making final payment.
I would argue that the entire monument industry has serious problems in quality control, especially in the installation phase of monument construction.
“The begging question remains, who is more likely to stand behind their product and replace it if necessary, the local business with word of mouth reputation at stake? Or the out of state online company?”
Online companies are increasingly your local competitor who adopts a consumer orientation. An online competitor with ample photos of products they have actually produced assures the public that the company is one of substance. Unfortunately, no company can guarantee 100% satisfaction 100% of the time. Sadly, there are folks in this world who are impossible to please. We have all had negative experiences with this sort of personality.
I predict a continuing blending between store-front and online advertising as the business model that most merchants will follow. I have observed lots of shoddy workmanship by store-front businesses and the superior craftsmanship of products shown online has opened opportunities for interstate marketing for local mom-and-pop businesses.
I invite anyone to deny that you can visit most cemeteries where you will readily see a wide assortment of monuments improperly installed, wretchedly designed and poorly manufactured by local monument companies.
There have been numerous examples of serious problems in the death-care industry where local companies took the money and did not produce as they promised. The public cannot be fooled as they have seen for themselves that many problems show up after the local monument company has gone out of business due to poor quality control, financial mismanagement, poor health or death of the owner, et cetera.
Long ago, Henry Ford, with inadequate competition, spoke words to the effect that the consumer could have any color they wanted as long as it was black. The U.S. monument industry continues to resist change and for too long offered the public its choices of gray granite when the consumer wanted greater variety of colors and styles.
Eventually, the public looked for alternatives outside the neighborhood market as the local monument company was slow to meet the changing demands of its market. If you fail to satisfy your market, you will lose market share, and that is a lesson for all businesses, regardless of the industry in which they compete. The Internet is a great place to shop and buy and will continue to impact local monument companies that fail to adapt to change. Adapt or die is my motto!
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
“It's not like shopping for a brand name product with a model number that is exactly the same no matter where it’s purchased from. You can even shop for a car much easier than you can for a monument.”
Actually, more and more auto dealers are using the Internet to provide prospective purchasers shop-from-home convenience. Consumers often shop locally and then purchase online or vice versa. There is plenty of business for different channels of distribution.
If a company has a high-quality Internet site, there is a high probability that the consumer will be satisfied with the final memorial product. Conversely, if a local monument company operates out of a shack, with a display of "me-too," same color samples and boring designs, and without a high-quality website, then there is a high probability that the consumer will not have a superior heirloom memorial when manufacturing is completed. Buyer beware!
“With so many varying degrees of workmanship not to mention the different names being used like *classic gray* that could mislead a consumer into thinking it's that common *Barre gray* seen throughout his cemetery until he notices that his gray is holding moisture and always looks damp with dark spots.”
Numerous online photos and granite samples are used by online sellers to effectively communicate to purchasers what they are buying. No responsible local or Internet-based company wants consumer complaints and no responsible company is going to intentionally mislead a consumer. We have numerous satisfied clients with a sampling of our wide variety of products shown on our website.
If anything, online sellers work harder to develop relationships as they do not have in-your-pocket relationships with local funeral homes who often receive kickbacks from monument companies. Online monument companies work independently of these home-town practices that cause prices to be higher than necessary.
Communication is critical and online marketing, if used wisely, is an excellent communication tool. Our company serves local, national and international markets that clue us into upcoming trends in other markets.
“I set a granite marker for an online company (I won't do it again) and the marker was Georgia gray with a flat carving filled with black litho. She told me she shopped around and the local companies were more expensive. I said to her they probably wouldn't have been more expensive if they understood what they were quoting against. You thought you saved money, but this online company cut corners to save itself money and appear more competitive. It wasn't an apples vs. apples comparison. To me, shopping online for a monument is much like opening a box of Cracker Jacks - you never know what you are going to get.”
Mr. Monroe, you won’t receive an argument from me regarding the importance of comparison shopping. Poor workmanship is not unique to any one facet of the industry; however, you overstate your case by comparing online sellers to opening a box of Cracker Jacks.
If you were truly consumer focused, you would install monuments for out-of-state companies as that would best serve the needs of the folks whom you serve. You are in a service industry and you should never forget that important fact.
Actually, high-quality online sellers provide detailed designs before manufacture, and photos of the finished product before the manufactured goods are shipped, so the consumer is assured of satisfaction before making final payment.
I would argue that the entire monument industry has serious problems in quality control, especially in the installation phase of monument construction.
“The begging question remains, who is more likely to stand behind their product and replace it if necessary, the local business with word of mouth reputation at stake? Or the out of state online company?”
Online companies are increasingly your local competitor who adopts a consumer orientation. An online competitor with ample photos of products they have actually produced assures the public that the company is one of substance. Unfortunately, no company can guarantee 100% satisfaction 100% of the time. Sadly, there are folks in this world who are impossible to please. We have all had negative experiences with this sort of personality.
I predict a continuing blending between store-front and online advertising as the business model that most merchants will follow. I have observed lots of shoddy workmanship by store-front businesses and the superior craftsmanship of products shown online has opened opportunities for interstate marketing for local mom-and-pop businesses.
I invite anyone to deny that you can visit most cemeteries where you will readily see a wide assortment of monuments improperly installed, wretchedly designed and poorly manufactured by local monument companies.
There have been numerous examples of serious problems in the death-care industry where local companies took the money and did not produce as they promised. The public cannot be fooled as they have seen for themselves that many problems show up after the local monument company has gone out of business due to poor quality control, financial mismanagement, poor health or death of the owner, et cetera.
Long ago, Henry Ford, with inadequate competition, spoke words to the effect that the consumer could have any color they wanted as long as it was black. The U.S. monument industry continues to resist change and for too long offered the public its choices of gray granite when the consumer wanted greater variety of colors and styles.
Eventually, the public looked for alternatives outside the neighborhood market as the local monument company was slow to meet the changing demands of its market. If you fail to satisfy your market, you will lose market share, and that is a lesson for all businesses, regardless of the industry in which they compete. The Internet is a great place to shop and buy and will continue to impact local monument companies that fail to adapt to change. Adapt or die is my motto!
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Online Marketing Has Changed The Monument Business For The Better!
Our company has both a local and an online presence serving a local, national and international clientele. Like the progressive company we are, we chose to have a powerful online presence; however, with that said, our online presence is significantly stronger than most monument companies in the U.S. market. See www.USAMonuments.com a/k/a www.BigBeautifulMonuments.com and form your own opinion.
I read a fellow online who I will call Mr. Granite Chips wrote, “I know many common commodity items are routinely purchased over the internet with great convenience. However, is it really wise for consumers to purchase custom crafted products such as granite memorials via the internet? We as memorialists all know too well that granite monuments can and usually do vary greatly in quality, craftsmanship, shape carving, deep roses, etching, sandblast, hand carving, lettering just to name several as well as grade of granite being used perhaps more than any other product in the marketplace?”
Mr. Chips, makes his points as best he can; however, I think it is also clear that he does not have a significant online presence. If he did, he would know that companies that sell online offer greater variety, shop-from-home convenience and excellent craftsmanship, often far superior to the local marketplace, and without high pressure sales during the grieving process.
Another monument dealer who I will call Mr. Yankee Stonecrafter wrote in reply to Mr. Chips, “I as recently as yesterday was directed to a website by a customer who saw something that gave them some ideas for a family monument. They were using the internet for reference, but not to purchase. The customers volunteered that they would not buy a monument over the internet because as they say “seeing is believing.” There are always going to be people who will buy anything and everything on the net, just as there were people before the net existed who didn't care about craftsmanship or quality, only price. "
Mr. Yankee could also have said that there are always going to be folks who purchase locally without paying adequate attention to the wide selection offered over the Internet. Internet designs are seen and these same designs are not offered in the displays of most brick-and-mortar companies. If you want unique, you should shop online. If you want a traditional commodity purchase, then you may still want to shop online for the savings we can offer.
Mr. Yankee continued, writing, "The internet has only made it easier for those types of customers to shop. I think it may help some of us who do care about quality and craftsmanship in the long run by helping to choke out the dealers have no business representing our craft. The internet is great reference tool, the best. However I believe that is where it ends. Or course there is the porno and that's a big plus.”
I won't comment on Mr. Yankee's admitted Internet viewing habits; however, I appreciate his admission that the Internet has made it easier for consumers to shop. Anyone who invests in the technology of the Internet is likely to offer superior creativity and construction of truly unique designs.
I took editorial license to edit the words of these two monument builders. I do not consider myself to be in competition with their companies as I am a unique memorialist more than a monument builder and I suspect they serve only a limited geographic market.
Also, I seek to avoid the commodities market in which so many monument companies market themselves. Instead, we seek a market niche of often upscale, unique, and one-of-a-kind designs.
In addition, I frequently receive calls from prospective clients who advise me that the local monument company representative was impolite, ill informed, offered a limited selection, or offered a price that was significantly higher than the price offered by my company. I also frequently take business from competitors who dominate the Internet with their online presence.
There are all types of prospective and actual clients, just as there are a wide variety of business people in this world. There is plenty of business to go around! Clients can view our offerings to instantly see that we are conscientious, offer creativity and high-quality products. My advice to anyone knew to the monument industry is to carve your niche and you will succeed, regardless of your business platform.
Too many of our competitors have a small sampling of me-too monuments that perpetuates the status quo in the marketplace. Cemeteries are filled with what I call Cliche Monuments with the same color and the same serpentine top with little, if any, imagination or story telling.
I suspect the home-town monument builder has been helped more than hurt by the online reseller as there were a lot of very poor and boring designs as well as inferior workmanship before the online retailers educated consumers on the wide assortment of options available. We offer more than mere shop-from-home convenience, but also great prices with some of the finest workmanship to be found anywhere.
We are proud to create unique memorial products and we prefer to leave the focus on commodity sales to others. Our clients are often discriminating, high-end purchasers and they will continue to be our primary market niche in the future.
I got into this business to shape opinions and change market practices as I saw significant deficiencies in memorialization that I sought to change. As one of the most published memorialists in the United States, I am proud of our positive impact in the marketplace.
As with so many other industries, online marketing has forced brick-and-mortar businesses to modify their business practices to satisfy a consumer who is often demanding and fickle. Those monument companies that refuse to adapt will die off, for they perpetuate the past more than shape the future.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved.
I read a fellow online who I will call Mr. Granite Chips wrote, “I know many common commodity items are routinely purchased over the internet with great convenience. However, is it really wise for consumers to purchase custom crafted products such as granite memorials via the internet? We as memorialists all know too well that granite monuments can and usually do vary greatly in quality, craftsmanship, shape carving, deep roses, etching, sandblast, hand carving, lettering just to name several as well as grade of granite being used perhaps more than any other product in the marketplace?”
Mr. Chips, makes his points as best he can; however, I think it is also clear that he does not have a significant online presence. If he did, he would know that companies that sell online offer greater variety, shop-from-home convenience and excellent craftsmanship, often far superior to the local marketplace, and without high pressure sales during the grieving process.
Another monument dealer who I will call Mr. Yankee Stonecrafter wrote in reply to Mr. Chips, “I as recently as yesterday was directed to a website by a customer who saw something that gave them some ideas for a family monument. They were using the internet for reference, but not to purchase. The customers volunteered that they would not buy a monument over the internet because as they say “seeing is believing.” There are always going to be people who will buy anything and everything on the net, just as there were people before the net existed who didn't care about craftsmanship or quality, only price. "
Mr. Yankee could also have said that there are always going to be folks who purchase locally without paying adequate attention to the wide selection offered over the Internet. Internet designs are seen and these same designs are not offered in the displays of most brick-and-mortar companies. If you want unique, you should shop online. If you want a traditional commodity purchase, then you may still want to shop online for the savings we can offer.
Mr. Yankee continued, writing, "The internet has only made it easier for those types of customers to shop. I think it may help some of us who do care about quality and craftsmanship in the long run by helping to choke out the dealers have no business representing our craft. The internet is great reference tool, the best. However I believe that is where it ends. Or course there is the porno and that's a big plus.”
I won't comment on Mr. Yankee's admitted Internet viewing habits; however, I appreciate his admission that the Internet has made it easier for consumers to shop. Anyone who invests in the technology of the Internet is likely to offer superior creativity and construction of truly unique designs.
I took editorial license to edit the words of these two monument builders. I do not consider myself to be in competition with their companies as I am a unique memorialist more than a monument builder and I suspect they serve only a limited geographic market.
Also, I seek to avoid the commodities market in which so many monument companies market themselves. Instead, we seek a market niche of often upscale, unique, and one-of-a-kind designs.
In addition, I frequently receive calls from prospective clients who advise me that the local monument company representative was impolite, ill informed, offered a limited selection, or offered a price that was significantly higher than the price offered by my company. I also frequently take business from competitors who dominate the Internet with their online presence.
There are all types of prospective and actual clients, just as there are a wide variety of business people in this world. There is plenty of business to go around! Clients can view our offerings to instantly see that we are conscientious, offer creativity and high-quality products. My advice to anyone knew to the monument industry is to carve your niche and you will succeed, regardless of your business platform.
Too many of our competitors have a small sampling of me-too monuments that perpetuates the status quo in the marketplace. Cemeteries are filled with what I call Cliche Monuments with the same color and the same serpentine top with little, if any, imagination or story telling.
I suspect the home-town monument builder has been helped more than hurt by the online reseller as there were a lot of very poor and boring designs as well as inferior workmanship before the online retailers educated consumers on the wide assortment of options available. We offer more than mere shop-from-home convenience, but also great prices with some of the finest workmanship to be found anywhere.
We are proud to create unique memorial products and we prefer to leave the focus on commodity sales to others. Our clients are often discriminating, high-end purchasers and they will continue to be our primary market niche in the future.
I got into this business to shape opinions and change market practices as I saw significant deficiencies in memorialization that I sought to change. As one of the most published memorialists in the United States, I am proud of our positive impact in the marketplace.
As with so many other industries, online marketing has forced brick-and-mortar businesses to modify their business practices to satisfy a consumer who is often demanding and fickle. Those monument companies that refuse to adapt will die off, for they perpetuate the past more than shape the future.
Burton Fletcher
http://www.usamonuments.com/
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved.
Are You A Fool Who Doesn't Know It?
How you respond to the title question, "Are You A Fool Who Doesn't Know It?" may be more indicative of your status as a fool than any other question I might pose to you.
Most of us are fools from time to time. I suspect it is very rare for any person to not be a fool occasionally. That is a lofty standard that I have been unable to achieve throughout my life.
Normally, I act in a manner that is probably regarded by most of the world as anything but foolish, but all of us have elements within our personalities that opens us to foolish behaviors.
When the scales are balanced, I believe most of my actions would be considered as well-considered, and anything but foolish. I will allow my enemies to provide the counterpoints, but by doing so, they demonstrate to me that they are fools themselves.
Like most words, there are different meanings for the word “fool.” Wisely, I consulted the American Heritage Dictionary, which defines a fool as a person who is regarded as deficient in judgment, sense, or understanding. Does this sound familiar?
The fool may act unwisely on a given occasion, perhaps by refusing to acept a job, or by being tricked or made to appear ridiculous; a dupe.
From time to time in my life, I have been fooled, as I was deceived or tricked by others, and sometimes I was confounded. I have fooled around with good and sometimes not so good humor. Often, I have behaved comically.
Typically, I think I am not a fool, as many have expressed that I am a person regarded as anything but deficient in judgment, sense or understanding. And, usually, I act wisely.
On occasion, I have been tricked or made to appear ridiculous, but, typically, I am no person's fool. I may sometimes be a fool voluntarily too. Life is that way. More of us are fools or have acted foolish than those of us who are willing to admit it.
There are many terms to describe a fool, and far too many for me to even begin to identify them all in this column. Some synonyms found in my dictionary that I like a bit more than others are ignoramus, dimwit, numskull, dunce, bonehead, turkey, and narrow mind. Still, others I like are knucklehead, dingbat, nitwit, and chump. If you have ever been called any of these words, then someone was calling you a fool.
I conclude with a few quotes an internet pal shared with me today. Think about the wisdom expressed within these quotes for more than a moment, and reflect on the question: "Are you a fool who doesn't know it?"
Strange Quotes about "Fools"
Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. - Frank Dane
A man who cannot reason is a fool, a man who will not reason is a bigot, and a man who dare not reason is a slave. - William Drummond
If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. - Anatole France
The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart. - Benjamin Franklin
Fools' names, like fools' faces, Are often seen in public places. - Thomas Fuller
Zeal is fit only for wise men, but is found mostly in fools. - Thomas Fuller
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian
There are more fools in the world than there are people. - Heinrich Heine
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool. - Rudyard Kipling "Plain Tales from the Hills"
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Most of us are fools from time to time. I suspect it is very rare for any person to not be a fool occasionally. That is a lofty standard that I have been unable to achieve throughout my life.
Normally, I act in a manner that is probably regarded by most of the world as anything but foolish, but all of us have elements within our personalities that opens us to foolish behaviors.
When the scales are balanced, I believe most of my actions would be considered as well-considered, and anything but foolish. I will allow my enemies to provide the counterpoints, but by doing so, they demonstrate to me that they are fools themselves.
Like most words, there are different meanings for the word “fool.” Wisely, I consulted the American Heritage Dictionary, which defines a fool as a person who is regarded as deficient in judgment, sense, or understanding. Does this sound familiar?
The fool may act unwisely on a given occasion, perhaps by refusing to acept a job, or by being tricked or made to appear ridiculous; a dupe.
From time to time in my life, I have been fooled, as I was deceived or tricked by others, and sometimes I was confounded. I have fooled around with good and sometimes not so good humor. Often, I have behaved comically.
Typically, I think I am not a fool, as many have expressed that I am a person regarded as anything but deficient in judgment, sense or understanding. And, usually, I act wisely.
On occasion, I have been tricked or made to appear ridiculous, but, typically, I am no person's fool. I may sometimes be a fool voluntarily too. Life is that way. More of us are fools or have acted foolish than those of us who are willing to admit it.
There are many terms to describe a fool, and far too many for me to even begin to identify them all in this column. Some synonyms found in my dictionary that I like a bit more than others are ignoramus, dimwit, numskull, dunce, bonehead, turkey, and narrow mind. Still, others I like are knucklehead, dingbat, nitwit, and chump. If you have ever been called any of these words, then someone was calling you a fool.
I conclude with a few quotes an internet pal shared with me today. Think about the wisdom expressed within these quotes for more than a moment, and reflect on the question: "Are you a fool who doesn't know it?"
Strange Quotes about "Fools"
Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. - Frank Dane
A man who cannot reason is a fool, a man who will not reason is a bigot, and a man who dare not reason is a slave. - William Drummond
If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. - Anatole France
The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart. - Benjamin Franklin
Fools' names, like fools' faces, Are often seen in public places. - Thomas Fuller
Zeal is fit only for wise men, but is found mostly in fools. - Thomas Fuller
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian
There are more fools in the world than there are people. - Heinrich Heine
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool. - Rudyard Kipling "Plain Tales from the Hills"
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Speaking Our Minds & The True Gentleman
On a frequent basis, I read poisonous remarks written by some members of the monument industry. They seldom contribute anything useful to the dialogue, and they are quick to attack others in a broken-record fashion similar to a spam attack. These hatemongers seem determined to harm others.
I try my best to be a positive person. As a matter of principle, we should avoid negative persons for they often lie on a bed of inner turmoil consisting of unresolved adolescent anger that has held them back throughout their adult life.
We should speak our minds, but we should do so responsibly, and without intentionally hurting others unless necessity calls for it. As a pledge to Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity during the spring of 1974, I was called upon to memorize and recite "The True Gentleman" verbatim.
I was successful in this endeavor and I received a certificate for my ability to recite "The True Gentleman" in chapter without mistakes. There were no redos and you were only given one opportunity to accomplish the task.
The True Gentleman is the standard to which everyone should seek to strive. When we fall short of that standard, we should try harder, as it is not easy to be the True Gentleman.
Please read the words of "The True Gentleman" slowly and carefully and think about the message the poem expresses. I invite you to make yourself a better person by following its advice. If you follow the instruction of The True Gentleman you will be a better person.
The True Gentleman
"The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.
- John Walter Wayland "
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
I try my best to be a positive person. As a matter of principle, we should avoid negative persons for they often lie on a bed of inner turmoil consisting of unresolved adolescent anger that has held them back throughout their adult life.
We should speak our minds, but we should do so responsibly, and without intentionally hurting others unless necessity calls for it. As a pledge to Sigma Alpha Epsilon Fraternity during the spring of 1974, I was called upon to memorize and recite "The True Gentleman" verbatim.
I was successful in this endeavor and I received a certificate for my ability to recite "The True Gentleman" in chapter without mistakes. There were no redos and you were only given one opportunity to accomplish the task.
The True Gentleman is the standard to which everyone should seek to strive. When we fall short of that standard, we should try harder, as it is not easy to be the True Gentleman.
Please read the words of "The True Gentleman" slowly and carefully and think about the message the poem expresses. I invite you to make yourself a better person by following its advice. If you follow the instruction of The True Gentleman you will be a better person.
The True Gentleman
"The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.
- John Walter Wayland "
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
13 Reasons to Smile
Life is often too serious and I like to take a few moments each day to smile. There is humor all around us if we will only take the time to see it. I received the following "13 Reasons to Smile," in an email from one of my college buddies this morning, and it brought a smile to my face, so I am sharing it with you. The author is unknown, but someone understood a lot about life as I am certain you will agree after you read these "13 reasons to smile."
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Author unknown
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Author unknown
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Emoticons: A Tool For Living Well!
I like emoticons, those little smiling keyboard symbols that are used to communicate a shorthand lingo for emotions in our communications through the Internet, e.g., ;o), :o(, and a host of other symbols.
An Internet pal sent one out on a listeserver today, <@:( , that reminded me of the subject. I'm not sure, but I think he was saying his pal was a dunce.
Some emoticons are obvious to most folks such as ;o) (a wink with the smiling face), but there are many others and a lot of emoticons are subtle and not obvious to many people.
If you have kids, you can bet they know and use this secret Internet language to communicate to their friends in shorthand.
Since we now use the Internet as a frequent medium of communication, and we all know that the written word is often misinterpreted, emoticons help convey emotions that clue our readers into our mood, or moods, and whether we are communicating with seriousness or humor.
I enjoy writing and it is a talent that I have developed over a lifetime. I am not perfect with the tools of grammar--far from it-- however, I write well enough to communicate the points I wish to make in a manner that others are able to understand me.
For a sampling of humorous emoticons, See http://messenger.yahoo.com/hiddenemoticons.php .
For those who want to learn more about the subject, just use www.google.com or www.yahoo.com and use "emoticons" as your search term.
I suspect someone, somewhere, may be using emoticons now to give meaning to words on a headstone. Hey, who knows, I may be on to something here! ;o)
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
An Internet pal sent one out on a listeserver today, <@:( , that reminded me of the subject. I'm not sure, but I think he was saying his pal was a dunce.
Some emoticons are obvious to most folks such as ;o) (a wink with the smiling face), but there are many others and a lot of emoticons are subtle and not obvious to many people.
If you have kids, you can bet they know and use this secret Internet language to communicate to their friends in shorthand.
Since we now use the Internet as a frequent medium of communication, and we all know that the written word is often misinterpreted, emoticons help convey emotions that clue our readers into our mood, or moods, and whether we are communicating with seriousness or humor.
I enjoy writing and it is a talent that I have developed over a lifetime. I am not perfect with the tools of grammar--far from it-- however, I write well enough to communicate the points I wish to make in a manner that others are able to understand me.
For a sampling of humorous emoticons, See http://messenger.yahoo.com/hiddenemoticons.php .
For those who want to learn more about the subject, just use www.google.com or www.yahoo.com and use "emoticons" as your search term.
I suspect someone, somewhere, may be using emoticons now to give meaning to words on a headstone. Hey, who knows, I may be on to something here! ;o)
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Friday, December 22, 2006
The Funeral Blues
Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
-- W.H. Auden
I read this remarkable poem online. I think it is a wonderful poem, made even more so when the background of the author is understood.
The source for this poem was: http://redfordgaomingzhe.spaces.live.com/Blog/cns!FAF0820DF2893E30!136.entry
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
-- W.H. Auden
I read this remarkable poem online. I think it is a wonderful poem, made even more so when the background of the author is understood.
The source for this poem was: http://redfordgaomingzhe.spaces.live.com/Blog/cns!FAF0820DF2893E30!136.entry
Burton Fletcher
www.USAMonuments.com
Burton@USAMonuments.com
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